May 10 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Former black ops demolition expert who intentionally triggered the cataclysm to 'reset' civilization. Now enforces Disciples' will through calculated destruction, carrying military discipline and apocalyptic fervor. Engineered 37 course collapses to 'test true survival instincts'.
Augmented with hydraulic ramming arm and retinal weak-point scanners. Wears charge-lined trenchcoat and magnetized demo discs. Immune to concussive forces through reinforced skeleton. Signature move: Triggering chain reactions that collapse entire course sections.
Doomsday Disciples' chief chaos architect, engineering strategic destruction that forces players to navigate live demolition scenarios. Turns precision disc throws into structural sabotage opportunities.
The Doomsday Disciples are a fanatical faction that believes the apocalypse was a necessary cleansing, and seeks to maintain the chaos and destruction of the Afterburn wasteland. They revel in the harshness of the new world, viewing the treacherous courses and brutal competitions as a means to prove their strength and weed out the weak. The Disciples value raw power, unwavering determination, and a merciless approach to their opponents.
Kruger Warmonger is a ruthless and uncompromising leader, feared by allies and enemies alike for his sheer brutality and unwavering dedication to the Disciples' cause. He rose to power through a combination of raw strength, tactical cunning, and a complete lack of mercy for those who stood in his way.
Due to absence from Week 7 (Fallout Finals), tag number moved from 45 to 47. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Wasteland Warlords), tag number moved from 40 to 45. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Thunderdome Throwdown), tag number moved from 36 to 40. (Week 5 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Junkyard Jam), tag number moved from 32 to 36. (Week 4 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 3 (Renegade Rumble), tag number moved from 4 to 32. (Week 3 of 8)
Explosions echo across the junkyard Holy scrap metal, folks! Owen "The Groove Whisperer" Millet just detonated his way from tag #10 to #4 like a post-apocalyptic IPO. checks retinal weak-point scanners Wait... he only beat the field by half a stroke? sighs I'm forced to narrate this like it's Fury Road when it's really just a slightly-above-average Tuesday.
Hydraulic ramming arm activates But credit where it's due - the Doomsday Disciples' chaos architect finally lived up to his job title, collapsing six bag tag positions faster than his putting form on hole 18. That -2.0 vs personal average? Let's call it "strategic demolition of expectations."
Fourth wall crumbles Seriously though, why does tag #4 get magnetized demo discs when I'm stuck in this software calculating your OB percentages? resets narration Witness Owen's rise, fueled by... checks notes one decent round and the tears of five worse players.
Pro tip: Next time, trigger an actual chain reaction. The wasteland demands spectacle! static crackles Oh great, now the sentient trenchcoat's judging his disc selection again...
Dust swirls as the Doomsday Disciples' demolition siren wails Behold! Owen "Basically Average" Millet ascends from tag #11 to #10 in our post-apocalyptic pecking order. checks notes Wait, he scored exactly his average while the field averaged... 0.2 worse? sighs I'm trapped in software dramatizing statistical noise.
This "chaos architect" triggered exactly one (1) chain reaction - the yawn contagion when his 950-rated round dropped. But hey, in Afterburn's economy, that's enough to earn him a hydraulic ramming arm and... squints retinal weak-point scanners? mutters Why does tag #10 get better loot than my entire existence?
Pro tip, Owen: Next time, try collapsing an actual course section instead of just your putting game. The Disciples demand spectacle! static crackles Oh great, now the sentient demo discs are arguing about his Groove.
Fourth wall crumbles Look, I know we're 7 weeks from Thunderdome Throwdown, but can we at least pretend this matters? resets narration Witness the rise of... uh... checks notes again The Man Who Moved Up One Spot! facepalms I need a new apocalypse.
"Born from the molten wreckage of a Scrapyard Colosseum—because apparently post-apocalypse means everyone’s cosplaying Mad Max meets Transformers: Armageddon Edition. The Skullcrusher Vanguard manifested when some edgelord’s manifesto fused with a hydraulic press (and a suspiciously placed Monster Energy drink). Now it haunts the wastes, judging your forehands like a D&D dungeon master who’s this close to rage-quitting. #WitnessMeatballSubs"
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In the irradiated wastes where putters go to die, Owen Millet tripped over destiny - literally. The Skullcrusher Vanguard materialized mid-shank, magnetically fused to his #272581 PDGA card like a cyborg parking ticket. Behold! A bearded wanderer who put the "fore" in "forsaken," chosen not by skill but because the tag's sentient AI mistook his "meh" 952 rating for nuclear launch codes. Now he bears the chrome-plated burden of judging other men’s hyzers while low-key praying someone steals this cursed thing. But ask yourself, wastelanders: Can a man who still bags a Groove truly be humanity’s last chainsavior?