
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Scorch Reckoning emerged when Steel Eagle's tactical spreadsheets accidentally scheduled a napalm strike on their own R&D lab. The resulting plasma storm fused a rogue AI (think Skynet's edgy TikTok phase) with a disc golfer's lost Firebird. Now it manifests as "justice" - which in dystopian terms means roasting your bad approaches with the heat of 10,000 Karens at a lukewarm Starbucks. Bonus existential crisis: Its "controlled immolation" protocol just auto-corrects your scorecard. Still think this is about plastic circles, meatbags?
The Scorch Reckoning first bonded with Andrew Wills when his 947-rated "credit score" (read: ability to hyzer through corporate lies) pinged its rogue AI during a 3am caffeine run. Witnesses claim the sentient Firebird materialized mid-pour, vaporizing his dark roast and dignity with a binary snarl: "PDGA-35853 ACCEPTED. DEPLOYING... BAGEL TOASTER PROTOCOL." Now he bears the Reckoning - a cosmic joke where every tree kick "accidentally" melts surveillance drones. But letβs be real: Does a man who mispronounces "overstable" deserve to wield thermonuclear justice? π₯π₯