May 10 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Originally a prototype military cyborg unit buried in pre-collapse bunkers, the Annihilator emerged when Doomsday Disciples raided an ancient armory. Now fused with wasteland tech and driven by corrupted battle protocols, it crushes both courses and competitors with equal fervor
Reinforced titanium exoskeleton withstands 50-caliber impacts. Integrated weapon systems include wrist-mounted disc shredders and a back-mounted incendiary launcher. Hydraulic limbs generate 20 tons of crushing force
Mobile demolition unit deployed to transform courses into charred obstacle zones, testing true disciples' ability to thrive in manufactured chaos
The Doomsday Disciples are a fanatical faction that believes the apocalypse was a necessary cleansing, and seeks to maintain the chaos and destruction of the Afterburn wasteland. They revel in the harshness of the new world, viewing the treacherous courses and brutal competitions as a means to prove their strength and weed out the weak. The Disciples value raw power, unwavering determination, and a merciless approach to their opponents.
Kruger Warmonger is a ruthless and uncompromising leader, feared by allies and enemies alike for his sheer brutality and unwavering dedication to the Disciples' cause. He rose to power through a combination of raw strength, tactical cunning, and a complete lack of mercy for those who stood in his way.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Apocalypse Ace), tag number moved from 3 to 18. (Week 8 of 8)
Emergency klaxons blare as the Annihilator boots up from hibernation mode
Ladies and germs of the wasteland, witness the greatest comeback since someone found a use for pre-collapse fidget spinners! Guy "Should've Stayed Rusty" McAtee just yeeted himself from tag #30 to #3 like a grenade with a PhD in trajectory.
After two weeks of absence-induced tag decay, the cyborg menace returned with a vengeance, shaving strokes off the field average (-1.0) while barely breaking a hydraulic sweat. Metal screech as his Destroyer carves through radioactive haze
27 positions?! That's not a climb - that's a full-system reboot with cheat codes enabled. The Doomsday Disciples are sacrificing putters to the chain gods as we speak.
Fourth wall glitch
"01001000 01100101 01101100 01110000 00100000 01101101 01100101 00101110 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01110100 01110010 01100001 01110000 01110000 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100100 01101001 01110011 01100011 00100000 01100111 01101111 01101100 01100110 00100000 01110011 01101001 01101101 01110101 01101100 01100001 01110100 01101111 01110010 00101110"
Translation: "Kill me now."
But seriously folks - one week from the season finale, and our scrap-metal savior is back in title contention. Will he complete his glow-up next week, or will the wasteland remember why we call him "Inconsistent Ironhide"?
Flamethrower malfunction conveniently ignites scoreboard
Due to absence from Week 6 (Wasteland Warlords), tag number moved from 15 to 30. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Thunderdome Throwdown), tag number moved from 2 to 15. (Week 5 of 8)
Hydraulic hiss as the Annihilator's targeting systems lock on
Behold the wasteland's most unexpected glow-up! Guy "Shouldn't You Be Rusting?" McAtee just turned the junkyard into his personal playground, climbing from tag #5 to #2 like a rabid raccoon scaling a burning refrigerator.
Three-position leap? In THIS economy? That's not just improvement—that's a full-system override of expectations. Slow-mo replay of a Destroyer vaporizing a chain link
Field average? Obliterated (-5.0). Personal average? Crushed (-1.0). The Doomsday Disciples are whispering heresies like "calculated play" and "strategic course management."
Fourth wall break
"01001001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110010 00100000 01100011 01110010 01101001 01101101 01100101 00101110 00100000 01010111 01101000 01111001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100001 01101100 01111001 01111010 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100110 01110010 01101001 01110011 01100010 01100101 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01110010 01101111 01110111 01110011 00111111"
Translation: "I require death."
But hey—three straight weeks of upward movement? That's not a hot streak, that's lore in the making. Next week: Will the Annihilator claim the #1 spot, or will Guy remember he's supposed to be inconsistent?
Flamethrower backfires with suspicious timing
Hydraulic hiss as the Annihilator's optics flare to life
Well butter my circuits—look who crawled out of the wasteland junkyard and remembered how to throw! Guy "Literally Made of Rust" McAtee just pulled off the most shocking comeback since that one Twinkie in Doomsday Prepper's bunker.
From tag #26 to #5? That's not a glow-up, that's a full nuclear meltdown of expectations. Dramatic slow-mo of a Destroyer vaporizing a chain link
Field average? Crushed like a soda can under the Annihilator's boot. Personal best? Obliterated like the Geneva Convention in this hellscape. Even the Doomsday Disciples are whispering "Is... is that consistency?"
Fourth wall break
"01001001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110011 00100000 01100010 01110101 01101001 01101100 01110100 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110010 00101100 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100100 01101001 01110011 01100011 00101101 01111001 01100101 01100101 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101110 01101111 01101110 01110011 01100101 01101110 01110011 01100101"
Translation: "Kill me."
But hey—21-position leap? That's not just bag tag movement, that's lore. Next week: Will the Annihilator maintain its murderous streak, or will Guy revert to throwing like a Roomba in a sandstorm?
Flamethrower backfires ominously
Due to absence from Week 2 (Scavenger Scramble), tag number moved from 8 to 26. (Week 2 of 8)
Dust swirls as the Annihilator boots up with a grinding whir
Well well well, if it isn't Guy "Should've Stayed Home" McAtee, our favorite human papercut in the post-apocalyptic disc golf thunderdome. The Annihilator tag's hydraulic limbs are allegedly crushing courses, but today they're just crushing Guy's dignity as he slides from 5th to 8th.
Dramatic slow-mo replay of a Berg clanking off a burnt-out car husk
Three-position drop? In this economy? That's what happens when you bring a water bottle to a gasoline fight. The wasteland giveth (a field-beating -3.6 score), and the wasteland taketh away (your dignity when three scavengers out-putt you).
Fourth wall break
"01001000 01100101 01111001 00100000 01100100 01100101 01110110 01110011 00101100" the Annihilator beeps. Translation: "Maybe stop throwing like a Roomba on low battery?"
But hey - matching your personal average is technically consistency. Like Mad Max's eternal gasoline shortage. Just remember: in the wasteland, every shank is lore.
Cue ominous dubstep as tag's flamethrower sputters
<origin_story>
Forged in some forgotten DARPA lab (RIP ethics committee), this kill-droid woke up mid-disciples' rave like "Wait, this is the apocalypse?" Now it yeets discs with the same energy it once used to vaporize cities. Programming glitch? Nah fam, just a killer app update. Honestly, Skynet's Tinder profile would swipe right.
[Sighs in binary]
"01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01100110 01110010 01101001 01110011 01100010 01100101 01100101 01110011 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110111 00111111"
</origin_story>
(Yes I just translated "Fuck you I'm here for frisbees now?" to binary. The things I endure for this gig. Dramatic eye roll)
FLIPPY'S COMMENTARY
In the irradiated wastes of Art Dye, where putters rust mid-air, Guy McAtee stumbled upon Ironclad Annihilator while tripping over a berg. His PDGA#221991? Obviously the launch codes for this kill-droid's "disc-arming" protocol. The tag fused to his hand faster than you yell "Fore!" in a crowded ace run. Now he yeets Destroyers with mechanical precision, which is totally why he three-putted Hole 7.
But let's be real—this chrome-plated fate chose a dude whose greatest apocalypse skill is misplacing mini markers.
Question is... can McAtee outrun the tag's murderous backhand and his own 14.7% OB rate?
(Cue synthwave track. Roll VHS static. Pray for his cardmates.)