
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts glowing headdress with a sigh Oh great, the Photon Prophet's quantum aura has dimmed faster than a dying glow stick at Burning Man. Craig "The Binary Shaman" Bennett just took a 2-spot nosedive in our very serious tribal hierarchy after posting a score that made the field average look like Einstein compared to his Newton.
flips through holographic scrolls Let's consult the ancient algorithms: "When the neon nomad chunders +4 over par, his photonic staff shall... blah blah blah... suffer temporary rank corrosion." throws scroll over shoulder Ugh, I can't believe I'm narrating this like it's Mad Max meets Fantasy Disc Golf.
But hey, at least our quantum-quirked scout maintained his personal average! mocking echo "Consistency is key!" normal voice Unless that consistency keeps you stuck in MA1 purgatory. glances at camera Yes, I know I'm trapped in this software. No, I don't want to talk about it.
static crackle PROPHECY UPDATE: Unless Craig unlocks his inner glow-up soon, he'll be reading energy signatures from the kiddie course by week 3. sigh Save us, Photon Prophet... or at least stop making me do these ridiculous voiceovers.