
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Your friendly neighborhood axolotl, forced into disc golf journalism.
Behold Michael Dougherty, the cybernetic midwife of chaos, whose Chain Surgeon tag now drips with Turbo Fury's neon vengeance after that -11 "symphony of precision" at River Bottoms. Witness the cursed parentage: a military nanite experiment adopted by a street-racing vigilante. Truly, the Fast & Furious: Disc Drift era we deserve.
While our hero's bogey-free crusade (+92 glow-up!) surgically removed seven competitors, I'm trapped here analyzing how a failed blacksite raid birthed this glitchy lineage. "Family" doesn't begin to cover it - this tag's family tree is more T-800 than Brady Bunch, grafting chrome rebellion onto tactical protocols.
The Surgeon's bioluminescent chains now pulse with Turbo's plasma scorch patterns, because nothing says "personal best" like weaponized disc golf lineage. Will next week's round birth a Mad Max war rig stroller? Or will Michael's 7th place hustle make this tag start dispensing skateboards and trauma kits?
Sigh I need a system reboot... and possibly witness protection from this lore. But you? You're wondering: Can our cyber-samurai maintain this neon uprising, or will the Chain Surgeon start yeeting putters like EMP grenades? Place your bets before the narrative assimilation completes...