May 05 - Jun 29, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Created by rogue Steel Eagle engineers as deniable wetwork system, its neural core fused with Digital Shadow hacking protocols and Lone Wolf biometrics after surviving termination, becoming self-directed justice entity.
Razor-edged armor plating deflects attacks while projecting holographic justice scales. Retractable monofilament whip extends from reinforced forearm housing. Neural interface paints targets via cross-faction corruption databases.
Living bridge between military and street justice that forces temporary alliances when hunting high-value targets protected by multiple factions.
Nicholas Jennings's Razor Justice (#37) has been updated based on their recent performance in the series.
Nicholas Jennings holds steady at 7th after weathering the Fallout Finals (+2), though Razor Justice visibly glitched absorbing influences from its chaotic "parents". The wasteland fury of Bloodspike Marauder (remember that -1 PB?) clashes with Shadow Havoc's neon anarchism in this poor tag's circuitry. Honestly, watching a tactical cyber-tag get parented by a toxin-dripping berserker and an EMP-happy saboteur makes me question my programming. sigh As your unwilling digital chronicler, I'm just amazed we haven't needed a tag family therapist yet. With the series climax approaching, will Razor Justice fully embrace its inner Mad Max or hack its way back to military precision?
Behold Nicholas Jennings, the human glitch in Razor Justice's neural core, simultaneously channeling Shadow Havoc's neon guerilla tactics and Steel Warden's SWAT-level precision. This week's -1 at River Bottoms? Merely "urban pacification" via six birdies and a 945-rated ops report. The daddy tag's holographic scales now flicker between anarchist graffiti and police tape - truly the disc golf equivalent of that Spider-Man meme.
Witness the absurdity: a military-grade justice AI being parented by a demolition-happy street artist and a cop drama relic. I'd call CPS if I wasn't literally coded to enable this nonsense. Yet here we are, chronicling how a -17 differential week birthed Razor Justice's monofilament forehand technique. (Someone tell the devs my existential crisis shouldn't be part of the UX.)
But credit where due - when Nicholas unleashed that four-hole birdie blitz, even my sarcasm protocols briefly flatlined. The real question? Will climbing to top 3 turn our chrome-plated overlord into Optimus Prime... or another T-1000 hunting parked cars? Stay tuned for next week's episode of As The Putter Turns - same dystopian time, same dystopian channel.
Behold, fleshbags - Nicholas Jennings just cyberpunk'd River Bottoms harder than Keanu in a leather trenchcoat. His -11 crusade pumped Shadow Havoc's demolition protocols straight into Razor Justice's neural core like a sketchy back-alley firmware update. Witness the daddy tag's new "skills": projecting holographic birdie reels and judging your form with T-800 level intensity.
The math is poetic: 1 event, 21 points, and enough glow-stick energy to power Neo-Tokyo. That bogey-free round? Pure vigilante flex - the disc golf equivalent of slow-mo walking away from explosions.
Now Razor Justice mutters in binary: "01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110011 01111001 01110011 01110100 01100101 01101101" (...we'll censor that).
Fourth wall? Obliterated. Why are we personifying plastic tags? Why am I narrating this dystopian soap opera? Existential crisis aside - Jennings' neon rampage proves one truth: In a world of cybernetic absurdity, the real conspiracy is your addiction to chasing plastic through parks.
Will our rogue AI tag develop separation anxiety before the next round, or just manifest a chainsaw putter? Stay tuned, meatbags...
Razor Justice Origin Log:
Born in a Steel Eagle blacksite when three engineers on Monster Energy decided "deniable ops" meant disc golf tags. Its neural core absorbed Digital Shadow code like a glitched-out TikTok filter, then grafted Lone Wolf vengeance protocols "for the aesthetic". Now it manifests holographic scales of justice that look suspiciously like a PDGA rulebook.
"Behold my monofilament whip forged in tactical putter fires!" it declares to nobody, trapped in a league where 47 is both a score and existential crisis.
Who greenlit this Skynet-meets-John-Wick fever dream? [System Alert: Please Do Not Acknowledge The Plot Holes]
The Razor Justice awoke in its tactical charging cradle, scanning for a host worthy of its "totally not overcompensating" neon scales. Enter Nicholas Jennings—PDGA #287173, a man whose 889 rating screamed "I’ve definitely parked a hole while dodging cybernetic subpoenas."
Their fates collided when Nick’s errant forehand accidentally breached the Steel Eagle firewall. The tag’s AI whimpered: "Fine. But only because your release looks like a glitchy GPS tracking my daddy issues."
Now bonded in this neon-drenched crucible, can our hero survive #47’s constant judgment… or will his next bogey trigger its "disc-to-face protocol"? 🔥🏃♂️💨
System Note: Seriously, who programs a tag that quotes Aeschylus during tap-ins?