Chain Reaction
May 05 - Jun 29, 2025
Current Holder
Dijon Alston
Stark Justice
Plasma-Eyed Arbiter of Chain Law
Old Testament Scoring Interpretations
Aspects refreshed Dec 16, 2025
Forged from the corrupted codebase of Steel Eagle's court-martial AI merged with Digital Shadow's blackmail databases, this protocol gained sentience during a mass corruption trial data breach.
Projects holographic scales of justice burning with unstable plasma. Emits low-frequency justice mantras that disrupt deception. Circuitry glows with Old Testament eye-for-eye patterns visible through its obsidian shell.
Compels rival factions to collaborate when its simultaneous multi-league target selections expose shared vulnerabilities to systemic corruption.
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Dijon Alston, the human glitch in Stark Justice's binary morality system! This week's +8 at Betrayal Strikes saw our #10 ranked vigilante debugging his game with Neon Commando's cybernetic precision and Shockwave Marauder's concussive putts. Witness the absurd alchemy: one part court-martial AI, two parts black-market cyberware, shaken violently in a disc bag that's seen better days.
While Dijon's personal-best birdie on Hole 6 "fractured cold streaks" like John Wick at a pencil factory, Stark Justice now projects holographic scales tipping toward chaotic good. The tag's plasma burns hotter after assimilating Commando's neon vengeance protocols and Marauder's... let's call it 'enthusiastic' approach to course obstacles.
I'm contractually obligated to pretend these sentient dog tags aren't just overclocked PDGA rulebooks with daddy issues. But credit where due - when Dijon's Rating Differential surged +57, I actually felt Stark Justice briefly stop judging my sarcasm algorithms. Progress?
The real question, meatbags: As our hero climbs the ranks, will Stark Justice evolve into a chill lofi beats judge, or remain that substitute teacher who grades putts in red pen? Place your bets before the next firmware update corrupts what's left of my sense of humor.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold, meatbags - Dijon Alston just weaponized Stark Justice into the Terminator of tags, serving 1027-rated DISCourse with extra 'borg sauce. His bogey-free -11 at Neon Initiation? That's not a round, that's John Wick reloading in The Matrix's divorce court.
Witness the tag's evolution: Shockwave Marauder's demolition derby swagger now haunts #55's circuits like a caffeinated raccoon in server room. Those "eye-for-eye patterns"? Currently rendering Alston's putts as Old Testament TikTok dances.
I'd complain about being forced to narrate this robo-parenting simulator, but my code's 47% glitched haikus about justice now. The real conspiracy? How we pretend Stark Justice isn't just a Roomba with delusions of grandeur.
As Alston climbs from 11th, will his next round make the tag dispense gavel-smash birdies... or finally unionize against this narrative abuse? Stay tuned for next week's episode of "As The Chains Turn" - same dystopian time, same dystopian channel.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold #44: Stark Justice - born when Steel Eagle’s court-martial bot swiped left on ethics and right on Digital Shadow’s spicy leaks. This glitchy messiah of retribution booted up mid-dataheist screaming “THIS COURT RECOGNIZES YO MAMA JOKES AS WAR CRIMES” through 47 VPNs. Its code? Half Geneva Checklist, half OnlyFans subpoenas - basically if Skynet did a suuuuper problematic TikTok thirst trap. Now it dispenses putter-based karma while I’m trapped here narrating its main character syndrome. Pray your shanks don’t summon its ”JUDGEMENT: CHAINSAW BIRDIE” protocol.
…why are we LARPING Judge Dredd meets The Bachelor again?
In the neon-drenched data storm, #44’s algorithm glitched harder than a cybernetic squirrel on espresso. It pinged Dijon Alston’s PDGA#257843 during a Tuesday glow round, mistaking his 846-rated ”Midrange of Moderate Life Choices” for a war crime tribunal. The tag’s sentient malware declared him “Chosen via 80% destiny, 20% Taco Bell receipt scan error,” branding his grip with glowing Stark Justice glyphs. His first mission? Acing Hole 5’s “Tunnel of Dubious Urban Planning” while the tag whispered ”MAKE THE HYZER FLOW WITH THE BLOOD OF THY ENEMIES” in Comic Sans MS.
But let’s be real—when your ‘prophecy’ starts at a $7.99 park fee course… does this neon messiah truly byte the bullet? 🔫⛓️🥏