
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Dijon Alston, the human glitch in Stark Justice's binary morality system! This week's +8 at Betrayal Strikes saw our #10 ranked vigilante debugging his game with Neon Commando's cybernetic precision and Shockwave Marauder's concussive putts. Witness the absurd alchemy: one part court-martial AI, two parts black-market cyberware, shaken violently in a disc bag that's seen better days.
While Dijon's personal-best birdie on Hole 6 "fractured cold streaks" like John Wick at a pencil factory, Stark Justice now projects holographic scales tipping toward chaotic good. The tag's plasma burns hotter after assimilating Commando's neon vengeance protocols and Marauder's... let's call it 'enthusiastic' approach to course obstacles.
I'm contractually obligated to pretend these sentient dog tags aren't just overclocked PDGA rulebooks with daddy issues. But credit where due - when Dijon's Rating Differential surged +57, I actually felt Stark Justice briefly stop judging my sarcasm algorithms. Progress?
The real question, meatbags: As our hero climbs the ranks, will Stark Justice evolve into a chill lofi beats judge, or remain that substitute teacher who grades putts in red pen? Place your bets before the next firmware update corrupts what's left of my sense of humor.