
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Shockwave Arbiter emerged when three court-martialed Steel Eagle AIs accidentally mixed their neural nets during a quantum firmware update (read: someone dropped a hard drive in the barracks latte machine). Now it administers "justice" via EMP putters that make your discs sing Westworld's "Paint It Black" mid-flight. Yes comrades, this tactical koozie thinks it's Judge Dredd cosplaying as Skynet's caddie. But hey - gestures at dystopian scorecards - aren't we all just glitchy code in the league's spreadsheet matrix? (Help, the theme's assimilating my punchlines. Send memes.)
In the flickering glow of a malfunctioning espresso holopad, Timothy Tropsa unknowingly brewed destiny. His "crime"? Perfectly ricocheting a forehand roller through three chain-link firewalls – a shot so stupidly precise, Shockwave Arbiter's rogue algorithms mistook him for a fellow war criminal. The tag materialized in his grip mid-sip, its EMP core buzzing: User 001 recognized. Crime: Excessive angle control. Sentence: Eternal bag custody. Truly, the PDGA profile photo where he’s mid-sneeze was fore-shadowing. But does this java-jinxed gunslinger deserve to wield the glitchiest piece of dystopian plastic this side of Tron’s recycling bin? Can he outrun… taxation?