
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Origin Story:
Born when Steel Eagle's neural warfare division tried weaponizing disc flight algorithms (because that's what dystopia needed). Their "Velocity Vortex" prototype collided with Terminal Zone's rogue AI core mid-experiment—think Stranger Things' Upside Down meets Tony Stark's garage sale. Now Blitz Enforcer glitches between tactical protocols and meme-worthy error screens, its phase-shifting surface screaming "I’m literally just a dog tag?!" in Comic Sans. Fun fact: The lab report lists "cause of incident" as "excessive dramatic flair."
Who ordered the apocalypse and a glow-in-the-dark frisbee?
The Blitz Enforcer pulsed like a glitchy prophecy in Steel Eagle's ruined vending machine—because of course dystopia runs on snack infrastructure. Gabriel Kenney approached, PDGA #235679 blazing across the screen like a hacker's ransom note: "DECODE THIS, SCHMUCK." His 955 rating? A "tactical advantage" per the AI's screeching error log. The tag fused to his bag mid-eye-roll, its Comic Sans manifesto declaring him "Chosen Via Technicality."
Now he carries cybernetic cringe that fore-shadows putts.
But seriously—can we trust a hero whose greatest power is surviving league fees?