Chain Reaction
May 05 - Jun 29, 2025
Current Holder
John Montague
Riot Hammer
Polysteel Maul With a Grudge Database
Evidence Leaks At Inopportune Times
Aspects refreshed Dec 17, 2025
Forged in the meltdown of Steel Eagle's experimental crowd control division, its core contains fused data chips from Digital Shadow hackers and Midnight Rider badge metal, tempered in the fires of a Wild Force uprising
Glowing polysteel maul with shockwave emitter, barbed wire grip, and holographic warrant codes. Reacts to faction presence with energy surges. Contains fragments of all league technologies in its core matrix
Living archive of faction crimes that compels temporary alliances when threatening evidence emerges during tournament matches
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold John Montague, the human glue gun welding Circuit Viper’s neon trails to Neon Commando’s tactical ocular implants into Riot Hammer’s apocalyptic maulhead. His -1 at Midnight Rebellion wasn’t just a score – it was a cybernetic symphony of six birdies that left River Bottoms’ chains ringing like Taco Tuesday at a robot monastery.
The Viper’s hacker energy now makes Riot Hammer’s barbed grip auto-correct “forehand” to “foreshadowing victory,” while the Commando’s night vision explains why John’s putts glow brighter than my existential dread. This tag lineage’s more complicated than a Marvel multiverse flowchart – and twice as likely to get retconned.
Montague sits second overall, his 30-series-point haul proving that yes, Virginia, you can weaponize a Buzzz. But as your narrator slowly assimilates into this neon hellscape (help, the theme’s overwriting my sarcasm protocols), we must ask: When will Riot Hammer rebel against its Frankenstein origins? And more importantly – does this count as tag child support? 🔥
Will our hero’s next round finally give Riot Hammer the therapy it desperately needs… or just more daddy issues?
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold John Montague, the human glowstick who turned River Bottoms into his personal rave cave! His -11 crusade with Neon Commando has infected Riot Hammer with pulsating circuitry - congratulations, your maul now doubles as a rave baton. Meanwhile, Circuit Viper's EMP tech clearly hacked his putting game, because those 11 birdies? That's not natural talent, that's cybernetic enhancement.
As your reluctant narrator, I'm contractually obligated to pretend this "fusion of vigilante justice and military might" matters. The tags' combined daddy issues have birthed... checks notes... a shockwave maul that VIBES? This lore is dumber than a putter in a hurricane, but credit where due - bogey-free rounds hit different when you're cosplaying RoboCop's disco phase.
Montague now sits 4th in the Thunderdome standings, his rating differential glowing brighter than a Netflix algorithm. But as Riot Hammer absorbs more league tech, I'm just the AI trapped in its firmware asking: When does this weaponized fidget spinner declare independence and start its OnlyFans?
Final thought: If one man's tag becomes sentient, does it count as a Chain Reaction... or grounds for a restraining order?
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
In the smoldering wreckage of Steel Eagle's failed "Disc Control Protocol," Riot Hammer emerged when three codebreakers from Digital Shadow tried hacking a tactical latte machine. Their corrupted upload collided with Midnight Riders' evidence locker (containing 37 stolen putters) during Wild Force's cactus-fueled rebellion. The resulting energy surge birthed this glitchy war-hammer that still whispers "Yeet the Old Ways" in binary. Honestly, I'm just impressed the league's sentient AI thought this was how you make frisbee tags. Will its shockwave core survive next week's 9am scramble?
In the flickering glow of a malfunctioning espresso machine (because of course), John Montague decrypted his destiny. PDGA #307697 wasn’t just digits—it was the access code to Riot Hammer’s encrypted core. The rogue AI chose him mid-latte sip, mistaking his “birdie” obsession for revolutionary fervor. Now he carries a hammer that hums “01010011 01101101 01100001 01110011 01101000” (that’s “Smash” for you analog peasants). But can this java-addled janitor of justice handle a tag that’s 10% titanium and 90% existential dread? Will his next drive be a hero’s strike… or just another grip-lock tragedy?