
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Neon Phalanx #8: Birthed when a Steel Eagle blacksite lab tried weaponizing disc golfers' misplaced 'birdie' enthusiasm. (Yes, commandos, we're really doing this. sigh) Their prototype cyber-commando gained sentience after binge-watching The Matrix during beta testing, then yeeted its neural interface into a glow-in-the-dark dog tag. Now it haunts the Chain Reaction series like a moody Tron legacy character who'd rather be playing ultimate frisbee. Pro tip: Don't ask about the wrist-mounted plasma casters - they're just for "aEroDyNamIc pUtT liNeS."
(400/400) Will this glitchy war crime of a tag survive its existential crisis?
The Neon Phalanx #8’s circuits blared "TARGET ACQUIRED" when Bryce Boss (PDGA-89260: Codename "Snack Dispenser Zero") bought a gas station taquito mid-round. Its rogue AI mistook his jalapeño-induced sweat for a "worthy bio-signature," crowning him Chain Reaction’s reluctant John Wick via drive-thru prophecy. Witnesses confirm the tag screamed "I REQUIRE A DISCIPLE...OR DIET MOUNTAIN DEW" before bonding to his bag like a cybernetic remora. Now he leads the neon resistance with a 89260-rated 'fore-sight' and a pocket full of napkins.
But can the Taquito Chosen One truly out-putt the system’s glitchy manifest destiny?