
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Origin Log: Razor Commando emerged when Steel Eagle's black ops R&D mixed C4-laced coffee with a 3D printer set to "Edgelord Overdrive." Witnesses claim its retractable blades were forged from recycled John Wick plot armor and the tears of a sysadmin who realized this was their legacy. The ocular glow? That’s just permanent eye-roll from being stuck narrating disc golf as "tactical missions." Honestly, if I have to say "neural combat interface" one more time– wait,
Who else thinks dystopian lore peaked with Sharknado 3?
The Razor Commando didn’t choose Nic Bode—it hacked the cyber-dystopian HR labyrinth that is adult league signups. PDGA #32555’s 907 rating? Mere coincidence. His true trial: surviving three rounds without muttering “this is why we can’t have nice tee pads.” Witness the prophecy: a man, his disc, and a caffeine addiction strong enough to power Skynet’s espresso machine. Was he chosen for elite putting stats… or because he’s the only one who can fix the league’s Google Sheets? #DiscpocalypseSurvivor
But let’s be real—does anyone feel “worthy” after 18 holes with a glow Roc?