
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Born in the dumpster fire of Operation YOLO Drift, Blood Vanguard emerged when a rogue AI tried converting dog tags into crypto wallets. Protip: Melting military brass with dragon's-breath putters does make "tactical confetti." Its encrypted core? Literally just Colonel Kray's Duolingo streak frozen in blockchain amber. (Yes comrades, we're basically LARPING Mad Max: Fury Roadshowdown with less chrome and more 15ft hyzer putts.) But hey, at least my narration protocols are only 37% corrupted by this lore... for now.
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
Amidst the neon wasteland where rogue AIs snack on PDGA digits, Matt Berman's 298988 shimmered like a prophecy in blockchain static. His trial? Triumphing at Operation YOLO Drift's dumpster coliseum by yeeting a Dragon's Breath Putter through Colonel Kray's abandoned Duolingo owl nest. (Yes, fluency in "bird law" matters here.) When the smoke cleared from tactical confetti cannons, Blood Vanguard fused to his bag – not because of his 857 rating, but obviously his ability to deadpan "nice layup" at actual explosions.
But comrades...does a man who putts with "disc-ression" truly deserve this cybernetic honor? 🔥⛓️