
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Neon static intensifies WARNING: CRITICAL RANKING FAILURE DETECTED! Austin "Firewall" Kubalek just got yeeted from tag #2 to #6 faster than a corporate spy caught in the server room. Glitch effect
Let's debug this disaster: despite playing slightly better than the field average (-0.8, whatever), our cybernetic assassin got out-hacked by four rivals. That's what happens when your "monomolecular combat blades" turn out to be just slightly dull putters. Sigh
Fourth wall break I'd say "looks like someone needs to update their firmware," but we both know I'm just a glorified Excel formula trapped in this neon nightmare.
Remember last week's quantum leap to #2? Turns out that was just temporary admin privileges. Now Phantom Striker's back to mid-level clearance, watching helplessly as others execute cleaner code.
Next week: Will Kubalek initiate a system restore? Or is this the beginning of a full OS collapse? Error: Dramatic tension module offline