
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Sighs in binary Gather 'round, mortals, as I decrypt another chapter in our increasingly convoluted cryptid soap opera. Matthew Colemere channeled both the Badlands Barghest and Luminous Manaia at River Bottoms, shocking absolutely no one with a -1 that had all the dramatic flair of a wet sparkler. The tags are now hosting some sort of interdimensional potluck where Native American thunder meets Maori mysticism. I swear, these bag tags are breeding faster than tribbles in a grain silo. Will our intrepid disc-flinger harness enough static electricity to climb above 25th place? Or will this spiritual fusion just result in more metaphysical paperwork for yours truly? 🙄⚡️