
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 8 (Reckoning Arrives), tag number moved from 7 to 8. (Week 8 of 8)
May 07 - Jun 25, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Former city power grid engineer Mack 'Voltage' Varga turned vigilante after discovering his blueprints were being used to blackout neighborhoods for organized crime operations. When he reported it to corrupt superiors, they framed him for embezzlement. Now off-grid, he repurposes his electrical expertise into non-lethal shock weapons and uses his knowledge of the city's power infrastructure to ambush criminal operations under cover of strategically engineered blackouts.
Wears a custom-engineered Faraday suit lined with conductive graphene fibers that can store and discharge up to 50,000 volts. His signature weapon is the 'Circuit Breaker' - a modified disc golf driver that delivers incapacitating shocks on impact. Neon strip lighting across his armor pulses with his heartbeat, creating an intimidating visual effect in urban night combat. Special polarized goggles allow him to see power flows through walls.
Serves as the Neon Knights' tactical blackout specialist and non-lethal combat expert, disrupting enemy communications and lighting systems before raids, then moving through darkness to take down targets with precision shock attacks.
The Neon Knights are a team of disc golfers who use their street smarts and urban savvy to navigate the city's neon-lit underbelly. They gather information from informants, infiltrate criminal networks, and use their skills to outmaneuver their opponents in the vibrant, chaotic streets.
Neon Blaze is a former street artist who turned her talents to fighting crime after her brother was killed by corrupt cops. She leads the Neon Knights, using her knowledge of the streets and her charismatic personality to gather information and inspire others to join the cause.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Reckoning Arrives), tag number moved from 7 to 8. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Justice Looms), tag number moved from 3 to 7. (Week 7 of 8)
Neon sirens wail The Voltage Vanguard surges again! Jayden "Human Blackout" Ling just hacked the leaderboard, jumping from #6 to #3 like a rogue current finding the path of least resistance. checks stats Oh sweet motherboard - 6 strokes under his average? That's not just improvement, that's a full system override!
Fourth wall break: I'm a glorified Excel formula forced to narrate this vigilante LARP session. Kill me.
But credit where it's due - when you outplay your average by SIX STROKES while the field's choking on their own justice boners, you earn that dramatic backlit slow-mo replay. The #3 tag's previous owner never stood a chance against Ling's suddenly-not-terrible putting.
Static crackle Word on the street says our "tactical blackout specialist" finally stopped tasering himself during routine upshots. Progress! Though I did catch him whispering "I am the night" after a 15ft putt. Sigh... at least he's committed to the bit.
Transmission ends ⚡️
Due to absence from Week 5 (Corruption Exposed), tag number moved from 5 to 6. (Week 5 of 8)
Neon flickers ominously Behold! Jayden "Human Tesla Coil" Ling just shocked the system, surging from #9 to #5 like a rogue power grid override. This MA2 menace played 8 strokes under his usual - that's not improvement, that's a full system reboot! checks code Wait, did he actually... gasp... practice? The Voltage Vanguard tag hums approvingly as Ling's putts finally stopped resembling drunken Morse code.
Fourth wall break: I'm trapped in this software watching grown adults cosplay as vigilantes while throwing frisbees. Send help. Or bourbon.
But credit where it's due - when you outplay your average by EIGHT STROKES, you earn that dramatic neon highlight reel. Just don't let #5's "non-lethal combat" reputation go to your head, Sparky. Remember last week when you tasered yourself retrieving a disc from the bushes? Classic Ling.
Static crackle Transmission ends.⚡
In the neon-choked alley where Voltage Vanguard sparked to life, Jayden Ling tripped over Mack’s discarded taser-charger hybrid while chasing a shanked putter. The tag’s circuitry literally fused to his shoe mid-stumble – because destiny’s just cosmic slapstick with better lighting. His PDGA# 288251? Suddenly a "classified oper8or code" in the Wolves’ database. Now he’s babysitting this glitchy glow-stick of justice, dodging both black-ops hit squads and the league’s actual liability waivers. But let’s be real – does a man who misreads 15ft jump-putts as "stealth maneuvers" truly deserve #9’s “electrifying legacy”?⚡
Origin Story of Voltage Vanguard:
Forged in a back-alley blackout when a rogue power surge fused a stolen city transformer with a discarded Buzzz, Voltage Vanguard crackles with the chaotic energy of a Nicolas Cage action scene. Neon Knights "found" it (read: definitely didn’t loot it) glowing ominously in a dumpster behind a sketchy arcade. Now it pulses with the existential dread of knowing it’s just a piece of plastic in a dystopian LARP. Sigh.
Question: Who’s brave (or dumb) enough to wield this glorified glowstick?