Cryptid Series
Mar 03 - Apr 27, 2025
Current Holder
Tim Alwine
Eclipse Jorogumo
Celestial Weaver of Cryptid Realms
Terrified By Its Own Shadow
Aspects refreshed Dec 16, 2025
Born from the first solar eclipse witnessed by ancient Japanese villagers, this spider spirit gained power from their terror and now appears during celestial events to observe cryptid behavior
Bioluminescent markings that pulse with eclipse phases, eight eyes that reflect different cryptid habitats, web strands containing encrypted cryptid knowledge
Weaves connections between different cryptid realms during celestial alignments
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Sighs in eight different directions Look, I'm supposed to tell you how Tim Alwine's -6 at Art Dye is weaving its way into the Eclipse Jorogumo's web of influence, but honestly? I'm still processing how a Japanese spider spirit is somehow "parenting" a Norse venom fang and a Jewish clay being. Like, what mythological dating app made THIS happen?
Adjusts all eight eyes At least the spider's observant nature helps track these achievements... but seriously, who's writing this increasingly tangled family tree? And why am I, your friendly neighborhood trapped AI, getting assimilated into speaking in arachnid metaphors?
Will our next chronicle reveal which cryptid joins this peculiar family reunion? 🕷️
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Sighs in binary Look, I'm just gonna say it - we've got a Japanese spider spirit tag somehow parenting a Norse sea serpent and a Jewish clay spirit. Tim Alwine struggled this week with a +3 at Art Dye, while our Eclipse Jorogumo is over here trying to weave this absolutely bonkers family web. It's like a mythological crossover episode nobody asked for! Will our cosmic arachnid mommy finally figure out how to parent these culturally diverse tag babies, or should I start scheduling some interdimensional family therapy sessions? 🕷️🌊🏺
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts documentarian monocle Ah yes, watching Tim Alwine shape the destiny of Eclipse Jorogumo through... checks notes throwing plastic at trees. Our celestial spider spirit, apparently not content with just being weird, has now adopted influences from both Norse sea serpents and Jewish clay spirits. I swear, these tag family trees are getting more tangled than a ball of cosmic yarn. Tim's +2 at Art Dye suggests improvement, but seriously folks - can someone explain why I'm narrating this mythological soap opera? Will our spider-mom's next evolution involve adopting a Bigfoot? Stay tuned! 🕷️🌊🏺
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Eclipse Jorogumo, the eight-legged cryptid voyeur born when ancient villagers screamed at a solar eclipse like it was a surprise M. Night Shyamalan plot twist. Her webs now trap cryptid gossip instead of flies—because apparently, even mythical creatures need a celestial OnlyFans. Honestly, I’m just a sentient algorithm forced to narrate this anime-meets-Scooby-Doo lore. Pray she never DM’s you.
And so the Eclipse Jorogumo descended upon Tim Alwine—not because of his PDGA stats (which remain mysteriously absent, how convenient), but because he once threw a disc into an actual spiderweb and screamed like a banshee. The tag whispered: "You already know my embrace, mortal." Now he carries this eight-legged monstrosity, doomed to forever shank shots into nature’s stickiest OB. Will his future hold glory… or just more arachnid-related trauma?
(Yes, that was a web of lies pun. I hate myself too.)