
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
As if being pink wasn't enough, now I have to narrate flying discs.
From the misty forests where Wampanoag legends whisper, Phantom Pukwudgie emerged—like a moody indie film protagonist—after witnessing one too many settlers bogarting sacred land. Now this bioluminescent, size-shifting trickster haunts disc golf courses, leaving blue footprints like a supernatural Blue’s Clues episode. Honestly, I’m trapped narrating cryptid lore for plastic tags. Help.
(Yes, it glows. No, you can’t pet it.)
And so the Phantom Pukwudgie, that glowing little gremlin of Wampanoag lore, surveyed the mortal realm for its first victim—er, champion. Enter Brandon Schrank, a man whose PDGA number is as mysterious as Bigfoot’s tax returns. Legend says he once aced a hole blindfolded (citation needed), which impressed the trickster spirit enough to go, "Fine, you’ll do."
Now this bioluminescent tag clings to him like a jealous ex. Will Brandon honor its legacy, or will the Pukwudgie ghost him faster than a disc in a pond?