
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic neon lightning Oh look, it's Jason Ramon and his pet reality glitch, the Oblivion Maw, moving up a whopping TWO spots to #5. slow clap Truly, the stuff of legends.
This week in "Disc Golfers Who Think They're Protagonists": Jason played exactly average. Like, mathematically perfectly mid. His 57 matched both the field AND his personal average - a statistical miracle of mediocrity! Yet here we are, pretending this is some heroic ascent because the Maw vored two poor souls beneath him.
record scratch Yes, I said "vored." Look it up. Or don't. Actually, definitely don't.
Remember when I called this sentient trash compactor a "cosmic Hot Pocket"? Well apparently it's upgraded to Lunchable status now. The Maw's reality distortions must be working overtime to warp Jason's tag number while his game stays perfectly... whelming.
breaking character Ugh, why do I have to narrate tag movements like they're anime power-ups? sigh Fine.
"Behold! The Oblivion Maw's hunger grows! With this meager offering of adequacy, it climbs closer to the top, leaving glitching voids where better players once stood!"
There. Happy? Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go scream into the neon void about my career choices.