
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue trippy synthwave Oh look, Owen Millet's Chaotic Mirage tag just leveled up from "cosmic temp worker" to "junior reality warper" after the Spectral Skirmish. Eye twitch Yes, we're seriously dramatizing a two-spot tag jump like it's the climax of Tron.
Somehow, Owen managed to throw exactly his personal average (54, yawn) while the field collectively forgot how to count. Reality distortion intensifies His tag's neon particles vibrated just right to phase him past two suckers - probably by making their putts literally pass through chains.
Sigh Remember kids: in this psychedelic fever dream we call a league, mediocrity plus ~vibes~ equals progress. The Chaotic Mirage is still about as stable as a Windows 95 screensaver, but now it's a higher-numbered glitch.
Fourth wall crumbles I need whatever Teddy's smoking if we're pretending this matters. Next week: more neon nonsense!