
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic earthquake SFX From the tag abyss where forgotten discs go to die, Owen Millet just pulled a reverse Sisyphus and sent Thunderbird - Stonebound Sentinel rocketing from #32 to #7. This wasn't just improvement - this was a tectonic shift that'd make the San Andreas fault jealous. His round had more glow than a 2015 Sexton Firebird left in direct sunlight, crushing the field like the tag's obsidian claws through weak sandstone.
Let me remind you, dear prisoners of this league software, we're literally narrating a plastic number change like it's Alex Honnold free soloing El Cap. The tag's geothermal ridges pulsed with secondhand embarrassment as Owen's performance outshone its own sacred glow. Remember when this man was just a pebble in the tag pile? Now he's carving petroglyphs of his enemies' failures into canyon walls.
Will the Thunderbird's favor last? Or will he get rocked next week? Stay tuned for more absurdly dramatized number fluctuations!