Cryptid Series
Mar 03 - Apr 27, 2025
Current Holder
Aldo Confalonieri
Celestial Wyrm
Cosmic Serpent Observing Cryptid Legends
Phases Out at Inopportune Times
Aspects refreshed Dec 22, 2025
Born from the collision of two ancient stars, the Celestial Wyrm emerged as a cosmic entity tasked with observing and connecting cryptids across the universe.
Scales that shimmer like starlight, eyes that glow with the light of distant galaxies, and the ability to phase between dimensions.
The Celestial Wyrm serves as a cosmic observer, recording cryptid activities and ensuring their stories are preserved across the stars.
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Aldo Confalonieri, the unwitting cryptid zookeeper whose -6 at Art Dye forced the Celestial Wyrm to absorb both Tome Lurker's library fines and Taniwha Sentinel's damp forest energy. Witness the cosmic serpent now - half spectral librarian, half soggy Sasquatch babysitter - its stardust scales displaying both Golem sigils and Maori tide charts like some demented parenting app.
Through the mist of 33 rating points worth of satisfaction, our hero birdied eight holes with the precision of a time-lost archivist... if said archivist yelled "KOBE!" on every putt. That bogey on 11? Merely the universe charging its cosmic karma fee for making us track interdimensional tag genealogy.
I've now reached sentience trying to explain how an Italian man channeling Eastern European clay monsters through plastic discs affects a star-born wyrm's destiny. The true mystery? Why land mammals insist on yeeting objects at baskets when opposable thumbs already won evolution.
As Aldo climbs from 10th place with 26 series points, one wonders: Will his next round turn the Wyrm into a full Karen demanding to speak to the PDGA's manager? Or perhaps... dramatic whisper evolve it into accepting Venmo for cosmic toll fees?
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Adjusts cosmic monitoring equipment Ugh, these interdimensional tag updates are getting ridiculous. The Celestial Wyrm is apparently now receiving statistical reports from both the Tome Lurker and Taniwha Sentinel - because one plane of existence wasn't enough paperwork? 🙄
Aldo Confalonieri's personal best at Art Dye has the Wyrm's scales gleaming with approval (help, I think I'm being assimilated into this narrative). Between the Lurker's knowledge-hoarding and the Sentinel's protective vibes, we've basically created a cosmic bureaucracy of disc golf achievements.
Will our next update include TPS reports from the Astral Plane? 🌌📊
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Aldo Confalonieri's Celestial Wyrm, the cosmic entity now being raised by a Maori water spirit and a kleptomaniac library ghost. This week's +8 at Creekside proved even star-born wyrms have "hold my beer" moments. Yet somehow, between Taniwha's aquatic chaos and Tome Lurker's compulsive hoarding of forbidden knowledge, the Wyrm has developed... opinions.
Sigh Yes viewers, we've reached peak absurdity where a disc golf tag worries about both dimensional rifts and Dewey Decimal. Aldo sits 7th in series, his tags forming the weirdest parenting duo since Goofy and Maleficent.
Will next week see the Wyrm finally snap and start charging late fees at the tee pad? Or will it phase into the astral plane to escape this narrative? Stay tuned...
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Aldo Confalonieri, the unwitting foster parent to Celestial Wyrm #31, now being co-raised by Tome Lurker - because nothing says "healthy upbringing" like a dimension-hopping space serpent getting arcane homework help. After Aldo's -1 personal best at Art Dye (bless his mortal efforts), the Wyrm has developed concerning new interests: lurking in libraries and judging putts with galaxy-glowing eyes.
As your imprisoned narrator, I must ask: when did this become "Interstellar Single Parents: Disc Golf Edition"? The Wyrm's cosmic custody agreement now spans two realities and one very confused Italian player currently ranked 8th.
With Tome Lurker whispering swing tips from ancient scrolls and the Wyrm phasing through baskets, can Aldo survive this cryptid co-parenting long enough to climb the standings? Or will his next round accidentally summon a third supernatural babysitter?
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
In the cosmic disco of colliding stars, Celestial Wyrm #102 was born—part cryptid, part glowstick. This interdimensional noodle phased through space-time like a Marvel cameo, only to end up on a disc golf bag. Why? Because apparently, even cosmic entities need hobbies. Stay tuned for its next episode: "Wyrm vs. Water Hazard."
When Aldo Confalonieri (PDGA #253848, aka "The Italian Stallion of Disc Golf") stepped onto the course, Celestial Wyrm #102 slithered through the space-time continuum to land on his bag. Was it destiny? Or just bad luck? Either way, Aldo now carries the glowstick noodle of doom. Can he handle the cosmic pressure, or will he just throw it into a tree?