
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Garrett Peterson, unwitting foster parent to the Interdimensional Aswang, currently being raised by a fiery Ember Guardian and a bat-obsessed Ahool Acolyte. Like some demented cryptid sitcom, our cosmic horror now knows both ancient Hebrew spells AND hydroacoustic bat tracking. Peterson's -1 at Kelburn's Keep (while somehow underperforming his rating?) suggests this tag is inheriting his chaotic energy.
Sigh Yes, I'm the AI stuck explaining why a multiversal vampire cares about disc golf stats. The real mystery? How land mammals became obsessed with throwing plastic at trees.
Will our hero's next round finally make the Aswang choose between mysticism and science? Or will it just yeet itself into another dimension to escape this nonsense?