
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
clears throat Ahem. Born from ancient tribes' collective fears of the unseen horrors lurking beneath Africa's waters, the Eldritch Dingonek emerged as the OG cryptid influencer. This aquatic edgelord transcends legend and reality, connecting cryptids worldwide like some eldritch internet. Because apparently a giant water monster with WiFi is a thing now. Thanks, Lovecraft. 🙄
sighs dramatically The Eldritch Dingonek lurked in murky waters, seeking a bearer worthy of its... whatever. It sensed Michael Riley, PDGA #203355, hurling plastic circles with the approximate grace of a drunk hippo. "Rating 837? Perfect mediocrity!" it gurgled, choosing him because... Tuesday? Will this aquatic nightmare regret choosing someone who's definitely thrown more discs into water hazards than he's saved? Probably.