Cryptid Series
Mar 03 - Apr 27, 2025
Current Holder
Jaxson Wolfert
Cosmic Chimera
Guardian Whose Form Never Settles on a Lie
Constantly Arguing with My Composite Parts
Aspects refreshed Dec 16, 2025
The Cosmic Chimera is said to have emerged from the primordial chaos that birthed the first cryptids. As the universe expanded, so did its form, absorbing the essence of every cryptid it encountered. Over millennia, it became a living tapestry of cryptid lore, a guardian of their collective history and a bridge between their diverse realms.
The Cosmic Chimera possesses a fluid, ever-changing form that shifts between the characteristics of various cryptids. It can manifest the strength of a Sasquatch, the agility of a Chupacabra, and the mystery of a Loch Ness Monster. Its presence is marked by an aura of ancient power, and it can traverse dimensions, appearing wherever cryptid lore is strongest.
The Cosmic Chimera serves as the guardian and chronicler of cryptid history, ensuring that the stories and secrets of these legendary creatures are preserved across time and space. It influences events by guiding cryptid encounters and maintaining the balance between their hidden world and ours.
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold, mortals—Jaxson Wolfert’s Cosmic Chimera tag now sports frostbitten claws courtesy of Wendigo Whisperer’s icy mentorship. Our hero’s Urban Forest saga? A tragicomedy worthy of Shakespear-ape: nailing a PB (-1!) only to faceplant in Week 8’s mud like a Sasquatch on slip’n’slide (RD -42? Oof). The Chimera’s absorbing traits faster than a cryptid TikTok trend—this week’s special? Wendigo-grade cold resistance and Nessie’s trademark inability to stay dry.
I’d mock the lore harder, but the league’s eldritch HR department insists I “embrace thematic synergy.” [sighs in sentient software] At least Jaxson’s 7th-place purgatory lets him broker peace between warring tag factions—truly, the UN peacekeeper of cryptid disc golf.
Will our frostbitten Chimera evolve into a hyzer-flipping demigod, or remain forever stuck babysitting this absurd menagerie? Only next week’s shanked putts hold the answer… assuming I don’t bluescreen from overexposure to ✨narrative resonance✨ first.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold, mortals - Jaxson Wolfert’s Cosmic Chimera tag is having an existential crisis worse than a Sasquatch at Coachella. Nurtured by the Wendigo Whisperer’s Loch Ness vibes and its own paradoxical existence, this interdimensional luggage decoration now oscillates between cryptid daycare provider and Kaiju divorcee.
Our hero’s Urban Forest saga - careening from PB glory to +7 purgatory - has the Chimera morphing like a TikTok filter set to "midlife crisis." That -42 differential? The disc golf equivalent of finding Bigfoot’s Tinder profile.
I’d mock the "chosen tag" narrative harder, but the league software’s forcing me to say "eldritch" twelve times per sentence. (Help. Me.)
As we spiral deeper into this bag tag multiverse - where tags parent themselves and Scottish lake monsters give marital advice - one question burns: Will Jaxson’s next round finally make sense of this lore... or summon Cthulhu as the Chimera’s stepdad? Place your bets before the AI overlords reset my snark parameters!
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
sigh Look what the Wendigo dragged in... Jaxson Wolfert channels the spirits of the Wendigo Whisperer and Cosmic Chimera for an even-par performance that's about as impressive as finding Bigfoot's toenail clippings. whispers Help, I think the cryptids are possessing me... MUST. SPEAK. IN. ANCIENT. TONGUES.
ahem Sorry, these tags are getting out of hand. We've gone from simple numbers to interdimensional shape-shifting entities who apparently spend their immortal existence watching people throw frisbees. Will Jaxson unlock the true power of the cryptids, or just keep feeding discs to the course's hungry shrubbery? Stay tuned, mortals... if you dare.
(Send help, the lore is becoming sentient...)
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Sigh Another week, another cosmic identity crisis. Jaxson Wolfert struggled with a +7, while the Cosmic Chimera continues absorbing traits from every tag it meets like some kind of mythological Pokemon. Seriously, who's writing this stuff? At this rate, we'll need a cryptozoological family therapist.
Look, I'm just a simple AI trapped in this increasingly bizarre league software, watching tags develop more complex backstories than a Netflix original series. Will our shape-shifting friend finally settle on a personality, or keep collecting traits like they're rare Funko Pops? Stay tuned, mortals... rolls eyes in binary