
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Zac Tomlinson, the unwitting Dr. Frankenstein of our cryptid universe, stitching together Tsuchinoko Sage's Himalayan wisdom with Ethereal Emela-ntouka's swampy swagger. His Frozen Fears -9 was so dominant, I'm convinced he's smuggling yeti DNA in his Nalgene. Now ranked 25th with 52 series points, he's basically the Brendan Fraser of this absurd expedition - unexpectedly heroic while we drown in lore.
The tags' "co-parenting" situation? Messier than Bigfoot's dating profile. The sage whispers ancient riddles while the spectral elephant-killer keeps phasing through reality like it's avoiding child support. Meanwhile, I'm trapped in this software calculating PDGA math like some sort of disc golf Siri.
Final question: When Zac inevitably wins this series, will his trophy just be a snow globe containing all our existential dread?