
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
In this week's episode of "Why Is A Glow-In-The-Dark Octopus Parenting A Disc Golfer," Jake Robb learned that Luminous Lusca doesn't do participation trophies. His +8 at Creekside (-133 rating diff) had all the grace of a Chupacabra in roller skates, though his 4th series standing proves he's usually less... moist. Meanwhile, Dingonek Dominator keeps trying to teach the Lusca "tough love" by making Jake play near water hazards. Sigh Yes, we're seriously suggesting an ancient bioluminescent entity cares about your upshots. The real mystery? Why I'm trapped in software narrating this interspecies custody battle. Will Jake redeem himself next week or will the Lusca develop abandonment issues?