
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Thomas Price, shepherding the Elusive Ogopogo through turbulent waters (+8 at Wildwood Whispers, because apparently lake monsters struggle on land). His tag’s "parenting" involves: 1) Snallygaster Slayer screaming "DEPLOY THE DRONES" while 2) the league’s Elusive Ogopogo just... floats there. Like a disappointing sequel.
Sigh Yes, we’ve reached peak absurdity where a shapeshifting cryptid is being raised by itself and a tech-obsessed cryptid Karen. Meanwhile, I’m forced to narrate this while trapped in league software like some digital Cassandra.
Will Thomas embrace his inner serene lake monster or go full cryptid hunter next week? And more importantly—can someone reboot my existential crisis?