
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Witness the unholy alliance of Umbral Ahuizotl and its frosty stepchild Frostveil Oracle as they parent Joshua Bignell through his 17th-place series slog. This week's +4 at Shattered Ice was like watching a yeti try to salsa - technically moving, but deeply confusing. The tags whisper conflicting advice: "Embrace the shadows!" "No, freeze everything!" Meanwhile, I'm trapped in this software calculating how a monkey-tailed water demon relates to disc golf.
Joshua now carries the spiritual weight of two cryptids who definitely didn't coordinate their parenting strategies. Will his next round finally answer why we're pretending Aztec mythology cares about backhand form? Or will the tags start demanding alimony?