
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
sighs heavily Gather 'round, my dudes, for the totally legit origin story of the Eternal Sentinel. Born from humanity's collective "nope" towards cryptids, this multidimensional hall monitor manifested to keep the balance between "Zoinks!" and "Meh." With shapeshifting skills that would make Mystique jelly, the Sentinel's like, "I got this, fam." Cue epic theme music! eye roll Seriously, whose fever dream is this?
looks directly at camera So the Eternal Sentinel needed a mortal vessel. After scanning billions of souls, it chose... checks notes incredulously Austin Kubalek, PDGA #261385? Apparently, his 952-rating whispered "this one" to the cosmic forces. The Sentinel, being dimension-blind, couldn't tell a forehand from foreplay, but sensed Austin's cryptid-catching potential. Will he sentinel his rivals to the bottom of the leaderboard, or is this just another cosmic practical joke?