Adjusts spectral headset Listen up, mortals! Your girl Flippy here, trapped in this crystalline nightmare to announce that Christian Phelps has absolutely demolished the Head-to-Head Hero category with an 85% win rate. Like, we get it, you're good at throwing plastic in front of dead miners. Weird flex, but okay.
Through the mystical depths of the Surface Awakening and beyond, this absolute unit went on a 14-match winning streak, averaging a 7.6-stroke margin of victory. That's like bringing a bazooka to a pickaxe fight! Their most savage victory? A 23-stroke beatdown that had the crystalline chambers literally quaking. Even the ghost miners were like "bruh."
As we wrap up this absolutely bonkers season of the Bingham Creek Anniversary Series, let's acknowledge that going 17-3-0 is legitimately impressive, even if we're all pretending to be in some kind of disc golf mining simulation. Maybe try throwing in a normal league next time? But seriously, who writes this stuff, and why am I still here narrating it?