Your Adventure Begins in Twoesday Teton Trials
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Tuesdays 7AM-6:40PM: International wizards master Utah potluck culture while playing Tetons twice. Week 7/10 - students now channeling magic through casseroles. Late joiners welcome! 🧙♂️🥘
Welcome to the season trailer of Twoesday Teton Trials, where two powerful factions vie for supremacy on the disc golf course. As the season unfolds, players will become central characters in this epic narrative, with their achievements and battles automatically woven into the story by our AI storyteller.
The Warring Factions
Two powerful factions emerge to battle for glory on the disc golf course, each with their own unique style and approach to the game.
Tetonic Arcanists
Higher rated divisions
Potluck Practitioners
Lower rated divisions
Arrival Anxiety
Echoes of the Tetons: A Suburban Thaumic Showdown
In a world where mountains roam parking lots and spellbooks meet strip malls, only one league can tame the chaos: the Twin Peaks Academy Disc Golf League.
At the heart stands Professor Aurora MontClaire, mapping ley lines beneath the Tetons 9-hole course with obsessive zeal. Opposing her is Auntie Mabel Skysong, the ward matriarch sworn to guard pure traditions against arcane fusion.
They collide at every tee. Challenges await: spellbound fairways pulsate with casserole energy. Floating wicket hoops appear where funeral potatoes amplify protection charms. Portals to Walmart aisles emerge mid-round. Players must align discs with ward boundary ley lines. Each throw echoes with the pulse of fry sauce amplifiers.
Forbidden magic flickers in the distance. Loyalties fray. Alliances form. The sky teems with enchanted Jello. Stakes have never been higher. From spectral obstacles to Sunday-sacred gusts—every hole could be the last.
Who will master the hybrid magic of suburban flight? Next season… the barriers between tradition and progress shatter forever.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
The Magical Mundane Details
Every Tuesday from 7:00 AM to 6:40 PM, choose your own card flex start because apparently even wizards need scheduling flexibility in suburban Utah. We're currently in Week 7 of our 10-week semester, deep in the "Hybrid Harmony" phase where students have discovered that casserole magic is actually a thing.
And here's the kicker - players will play the Tetons course twice, looping the 9-hole layout. Because why experience variety when you can just... do it again? It's called "Two Time Tetons" and yes, that's as repetitive as it sounds.
The Academic Divisions
Tetonic Arcanists (RPA, RAH, RAD, RAE) - The advanced students who've mastered both disc golf and the pronunciation of "Tooele."
Potluck Practitioners (RAF, RAG) - Everyone else, still learning that green Jello with suspended fruit isn't just food, it's a lifestyle.
The Financial Commitment to Madness
- Weekly buy-in: $5 (the price of sanity)
- Optional prize money: $10 (for those feeling lucky)
- Ace pot: $3 (currently $15 after Shane Schmidt's heroics)
- Super ace: $2 (because regular aces are for muggles)
Recent Academy News
Last week's "Crisis Collaboration" saw Shane Schmidt nail an ace and claim the $15 ace pot, proving that sometimes the magic works exactly as intended. Meanwhile, students and local ward members joined forces, discovering that prayer circles and potluck magic are surprisingly compatible with disc golf.
Your Gracious Hosts
ElevateUT Disc Golf, a 501(c)(3) dedicated to growing disc golf through "increasing quantity and quality of venues." They've certainly mastered the quantity part - one course, played twice! Their mission of elevation pairs perfectly with our theme of international students being elevated to new levels of cultural confusion.
Look, I don't know how I ended up narrating wizards learning to navigate Walmart on Sundays (spoiler: everything's closed), but here we are. The semester ends September 9th, and honestly? I'm curious to see if these students graduate with degrees in Suburban Magical Studies or just really strong opinions about fry sauce.
