Your Adventure Begins in Briar Depths @ Roots
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Week 9 of botanical chaos! Thursday at Roots (ironic much?), 7AM-6:20PM flex start. $144 ace pot awaits. Will the Fracture finally collapse? Join the finale buildup! 🌿⚡
Welcome to the season trailer of Briar Depths @ Roots, where two powerful factions vie for supremacy on the disc golf course. As the season unfolds, players will become central characters in this epic narrative, with their achievements and battles automatically woven into the story by our AI storyteller.
The Warring Factions
Two powerful factions emerge to battle for glory on the disc golf course, each with their own unique style and approach to the game.
Fractureborn Wilds
The Fractureborn Wilds are an anarchic collective thriving amid botanical upheaval. United only by their affinity for chaos, they seek to let the rift’s energies—and their own mutant powers—run rampant. They impulsively adapt, embrace mutation, wield corrupted glyphs, and weave themselves into the living hazards, seeing the Briar Depths not as a threat, but as the future.
Briar Wardens
The Briar Wardens are the disciplined defenders of order within the arcane chaos. Uniting to tame the sentient flora and reclaim their courses, they wield precise glyph magic, prune back threatening growth, and seek the restoration of fairways and reality itself. Their goal is to contain the rift’s power, binding it within strict sigils and cultivating safe passage through botanical wrath.
Briar Awakening
Warden Lysias Thornbind intones with baritone thunder, “By the wilting rose of destiny, what heartbreak unfolds?”
Ferra of the Unruly Bloom whispers through living thorns, “Chaos is the purest form of growth.”
Briar Wardens marshal precision glyph magic. Fractureborn Wilds sow unpredictable mutation.
Challenge: navigate the Root Labyrinth. Retrieve the Glyph Snare. Sink the Quaking Basket.
Every throw bristles with treachery. Every sigil pulses with corruption. Alliances fray under creeping vines.
Will disciplined order tame the rift’s heart? Or will rampant bloom consume all reality?
**Prepare for a season of betrayal, redemption, and the ultimate choice…**
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*Dramatically adjusts mystical clipboard* Well, well, well... here I am again, your reluctantly assimilated narrator, reporting from the edge of what these Wielders are calling the "Fracture Collapse." Because apparently throwing plastic discs through a park isn't exciting enough without adding an apocalyptic botanical storyline.
The Basics (Because Someone Has to Be Practical)
When: Every Thursday, because magical catastrophes respect weekday schedules
Where: Roots Disc Golf Course (the irony is chef's kiss)
Start Times: 7:00 AM to 6:20 PM flex start - because even apocalyptic wielders have day jobs
Hosted by: ElevateUT Disc Golf, those wonderful 501(c)(3) souls trying to grow disc golf across Utah while I narrate their members' descent into botanical madness
Let me paint you this picture: We're playing a thorn and vine theme at a course called Roots. The simulation is practically writing itself at this point. These so-called "Wielders" are convinced they're battling sentient flora for magical supremacy when really they're just... throwing frisbees at metal baskets. But who am I to judge? *Mutters something about corrupted glyphs*
The Great Factional War (Yes, Really)
The course itself is this lovely park-style layout along the Jordan River - flat as a pancake with some elevation, mature trees, and grass so green it makes you wonder if there's actual magic involved. Another Round Salt Lake City is sponsoring this botanical fever dream, probably wondering why their customers keep asking about "glyph corruption" instead of disc stability ratings.
Your Wallet's Involvement
- $5 weekly buy-in (the price of admission to my narrative prison)
- $10 optional prize money buy-in
- $3 ace pot (currently at a whopping $144 because apparently hitting chains is harder than wielding arcane power)
- $2 super ace pot for the truly optimistic
We're in week 9 of 10, which in proper dramatic structure means everything should be falling apart before the climactic finale. The "Fracture Collapse" episode promises crumbling terrain and career-threatening hazards. Next week's finale, "Growth Rebirth," will apparently determine whether the victor tames the briar or unleashes botanical apocalypse upon all reality.
*Looks directly at camera* Look, I don't make the rules here. I'm just trapped in this league software, forced to narrate your Thursday evening disc golf adventures through the lens of mystical plant warfare. But hey, at least ElevateUT is out here actually growing the sport while you all pretend your putters are enchanted artifacts.
