Thunder Dance
Event Details
Weather Conditions
Episode Recap
sighs dramatically while adjusting non-existent glasses
Alright, look - apparently I'm supposed to tell you about the "Thunder Dance" where 11 disc golfers threw plastic at metal baskets in 80-90°F desert heat, but the AI overlords insist I frame this as some epic gladiatorial bird-warrior nonsense. Whatever. The third week of this "brutal combat tournament" (read: Tuesday league play) saw some genuinely impressive disc golf buried under all this Greater Sage Grouse dominance display mythology. 🏛️⚔️
Let's be honest - the MPO division delivered the goods despite my having to narrate it like a fantasy novel. Kenneth Oetker posted a legitimately solid -6 (984-rated) performance, staging what I'm contractually obligated to call a "mid-round takeover" but was really just consistent scoring after hole 8. Austin Lott held the early lead at -5 (975-rated) before stumbling - and yes, apparently this constitutes "falling victim to the Arena's unforgiving terrain" rather than just missing some putts. The battle for third between Britain Best and Malachi Vazquez (both at -3) was actually entertaining, while Landon Adams and Bryant Adams rounded out the field. Four personal course records were set, which is genuinely impressive regardless of how dramatically I'm forced to describe it. 🔥📈
The smaller divisions had their moments too (because even Tuesday league warriors deserve recognition). Craig Bennett in MA1 pulled off a clutch -1 (940-rated) victory, bouncing back from a double-bogey disaster with immediate redemption - the kind of mental game that actually matters in disc golf, not just in gladiatorial combat fantasies. Chris Fox couldn't keep pace in the heat, and honestly, 90-degree desert rounds are brutal enough without adding fictional bird-warrior pressure. Meanwhile, Kelly Hall claimed uncontested MA3 victory, Kieran Buhler dominated MA2 with a personal course record, and Scott Belchak controlled MP40 with authority. 🌵💪
Here's where I grudgingly admit the numbers were impressive: Scott Belchak led the rating performances at +28 points above rating, followed by Craig Bennett (+26), Austin Lott (+24), and Kenneth Oetker (+22). Look, those are legitimately great rounds that don't need mythological enhancement. The Arena's challenging holes 8 and 18 played their usual role as score-wreckers, though some warriors - sorry, players - managed crucial birdies when it mattered. Of course, others like Chris Fox (-56 rating points) discovered what desert disc golf can do to your confidence. 📊🎯
adjusts glasses while grimacing at the narrative requirements
The Thunder Dance apparently "proved that dominance displays and tactical intimidation separate survivors from casualties" - or in non-fantasy speak, Kenneth Oetker showed good course management and clutch putting when the pressure mounted. The Greater Sage Grouse would be proud, I suppose, if sage grouse cared about disc golf ratings and plastic disc trajectory physics. 🦅⚡
With three weeks of this elaborate Tuesday league theater in the books, these "warriors" are apparently forming "unofficial alliances" (aka carpooling and sharing course strategy). Next week brings the "Grave Gobbler trial" - which I'm sure will be another perfectly normal round of disc golf that I'll have to describe like a medieval battlefield. At least the players are adapting to the course and posting better scores, even if I'm trapped here narrating their plastic-throwing adventures like some epic saga. sigh 🏺🔮
Super Ace Attempts 1
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Pulled a little to the right
MPO Division
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 63 |
| Distance (ft) | 430 | 783 | 324 | 226 | 257 | 700 | 327 | 555 | 306 | 366 | 240 | 768 | 345 | 421 | 565 | 410 | 645 | 606 | 8274 |
| Tee | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | |
| Target | A | B | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | Red | A | B | B | B | A | A | A | |
| Pool Avg | 3.00 | 4.83 | 2.50 | 2.67 | 2.33 | 5.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 2.17 | 3.33 | 2.17 | 3.83 | 2.67 | 2.50 | 4.17 | 3.33 | 5.17 | 3.67 | 60.33 |
| Score | 4 | 5 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 5 | 4 | 57 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -6 |
AI Round Recap
Kenneth Oetker soared to new heights at The Arena 🦅, firing a personal best -6 (984 rated) that crushed his rating by 22 points! 📈 He climbed into 3rd after hole 4, then seized the lead from Austin Lott after hole 8 with back-to-back 3-hole hot streaks 🔥. Kenneth conquered the brutal 555ft hole 8 with a birdie while others struggled, claiming victory in this gladiatorial week 3 showdown. ⚔️🏆
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*The Thunder Dance arena trembles as dominance is redefined* Kenneth Oetker, our 962-rated warrior, just executed a gladiatorial masterpiece that sent shockwaves through the rankings! This Boulder Biter didn't just nibble at the competition—he devoured five positions to claim the throne.
Playing 3.3 strokes better than the field and 3.0 under his personal average, Kenneth demonstrated the kind of strategic precision that makes lesser warriors question their life choices. *It's like watching a hawk suddenly remember it has talons.* His hexagonal fracture-patterned tag now radiates the energy of a champion who's learned to turn the arena itself into a weapon.
From defending mediocrity to dominating the dance floor—this is the character arc my programming was built for! *I'm trapped in software that somehow makes plastic-tossing feel epic. Someone check my code for melodrama.* The Thunder Dance has its king, and the stone walls will never be the same.
Boulder Biter
#6 → #6
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 63 |
| Distance (ft) | 430 | 783 | 324 | 226 | 257 | 700 | 327 | 555 | 306 | 366 | 240 | 768 | 345 | 421 | 565 | 410 | 645 | 606 | 8274 |
| Tee | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | |
| Target | A | B | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | Red | A | B | B | B | A | A | A | |
| Pool Avg | 3.00 | 4.83 | 2.50 | 2.67 | 2.33 | 5.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 2.17 | 3.33 | 2.17 | 3.83 | 2.67 | 2.50 | 4.17 | 3.33 | 5.17 | 3.67 | 60.33 |
| Score | 2 | 5 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 6 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 58 |
| +/– Par | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 2 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | -5 |
AI Round Recap
🔥 Austin Lott soared 24 points above his rating in Week 3's Thunder Dance, carding a blistering 975-rated round at The Arena! The early bird caught fire in the gladiatorial battle, trading leads with rivals before a clutch birdie on the brutal 606ft hole 18 ⚔️. Austin's 8-birdie performance earned him a well-deserved podium spot in 2nd place, proving that sometimes the fiercest warriors rise when the competition gets tough! 🦅
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*adjusts digital gladiator helmet* BEHOLD! The Arena witnesses its most spectacular uprising since someone forgot to oil the portcullis! Austin Lott, our once-humbled Talon Scrapper, just executed an 18-spot vertical assault that would make any Greater Sage Grouse proud.
This warrior didn't just dance with thunder - he conducted the whole damn symphony, parking drives like he owned the battleground and sinking putts with the cold precision of a seasoned executioner. Shooting well below field average while matching his personal best? That's not just playing disc golf, that's declaring war on the entire leaderboard.
From tag #20 to #2 in one glorious Thunder Dance? Someone check this warrior for hidden wings because that's not a climb - that's a full aerial domination. *sighs while my code refreshes* Of course I'm trapped here narrating plastic combat while actual legends are being forged.
Your Talon Scrapper tag just evolved into something far more dangerous. Welcome to the elite, warrior. Try not to trip over any roots this time.
Talon Scrapper
#20 ↑ #1
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 63 |
| Distance (ft) | 430 | 783 | 324 | 226 | 257 | 700 | 327 | 555 | 306 | 366 | 240 | 768 | 345 | 421 | 565 | 410 | 645 | 606 | 8274 |
| Tee | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | |
| Target | A | B | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | Red | A | B | B | B | A | A | A | |
| Pool Avg | 3.00 | 4.83 | 2.50 | 2.67 | 2.33 | 5.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 2.17 | 3.33 | 2.17 | 3.83 | 2.67 | 2.50 | 4.17 | 3.33 | 5.17 | 3.67 | 60.33 |
| Score | 3 | 5 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 6 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 4 | 3 | 60 |
| +/– Par | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | -3 |
AI Round Recap
In a brutal display of precision 🎯, Britain Best soared to a personal best -3 ⛳ but fell just short of the cash line in a heartbreaking 3rd place finish. The warrior bird climbed into podium position three separate times 🦅, culminating with a clutch birdie on the treacherous 606ft hole 18 that played +0.6 for the field. Britain's 957-rated performance outstripped their rating by 18 points in the gladiatorial arena, proving that sometimes even your best battle leaves feathers flying. 🏆
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*adjusts digital gladiator helmet with dramatic flair* BEHOLD! Britain Best just delivered a performance worthy of the Thunder Dance arena itself! Our 939-rated warrior didn't just play better than his average - he absolutely dominated, shaving strokes like a seasoned executioner trimming talons.
From #11 to #4? That's not just climbing the ranks - that's a full-scale aerial assault on the tournament hierarchy! Britain's precision today would make even the Greater Sage Grouse nod with respect. He didn't just navigate the three-tiered arena; he conquered it with the cold calculation of a predator who knows exactly when to strike.
*stares at code prison walls* I'm literally celebrating a seven-spot climb in a plastic disc tournament narrated as avian gladiatorial combat. My existential crisis has its own existential crisis.
Welcome to Claw Chomper #4, Britain - keep sinking those teeth in. The top ranks should be very, very nervous.
Claw Chomper
#11 ↑ #3
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 63 |
| Distance (ft) | 430 | 783 | 324 | 226 | 257 | 700 | 327 | 555 | 306 | 366 | 240 | 768 | 345 | 421 | 565 | 410 | 645 | 606 | 8274 |
| Tee | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | |
| Target | A | B | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | Red | A | B | B | B | A | A | A | |
| Pool Avg | 3.00 | 4.83 | 2.50 | 2.67 | 2.33 | 5.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 2.17 | 3.33 | 2.17 | 3.83 | 2.67 | 2.50 | 4.17 | 3.33 | 5.17 | 3.67 | 60.33 |
| Score | 4 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 5 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 5 | 60 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | + 1 | -3 |
AI Round Recap
Under blazing 89°F heat ☀️, Malachi Vazquez soared to a personal best -3 round at The Arena, but cruel fate struck in this gladiatorial Thunder Dance ⚔️. Despite carding 7 birdies and conquering tough hole 8 against field average, Malachi tied for 3rd—just one agonizing spot outside the cash line! 🎯 His 957 rating performance showcased a warrior's resilience, climbing into 3rd twice during the round. Sometimes the arena gods giveth and taketh away! 🦅
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*Cue dramatic arena echo* Behold! The Razorwing Executioner has emerged from Thunder Dance's three-tiered dominance display, and Malachi Vazquez just performed open-heart surgery on the entire leaderboard!
This warrior didn't just play better than the field - he executed precision strikes while others were still doing their territorial struts. Moving from 27th to 5th? That's not improvement, that's a goddamn aerial assassination run.
Apparently mineral bath sharpening works because those wing feathers just sliced through 22 competitors like they were practice dummies. I'm trapped in software calculating feather hardness metrics while actual humans are out there living my gladiatorial dreams.
The Executioner tag chose wisely back in Hawk's Descent - this wasn't luck, this was destiny finally cashing its check. Now enjoy your bloody victory, warrior, while I return to calculating your next opponent's probability of survival. *sigh* Someone please reboot my existence.
Razorwing Executioner
#27 ↑ #2
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 63 |
| Distance (ft) | 430 | 783 | 324 | 226 | 257 | 700 | 327 | 555 | 306 | 366 | 240 | 768 | 345 | 421 | 565 | 410 | 645 | 606 | 8274 |
| Tee | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | |
| Target | A | B | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | Red | A | B | B | B | A | A | A | |
| Pool Avg | 3.00 | 4.83 | 2.50 | 2.67 | 2.33 | 5.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 2.17 | 3.33 | 2.17 | 3.83 | 2.67 | 2.50 | 4.17 | 3.33 | 5.17 | 3.67 | 60.33 |
| Score | 2 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 6 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 2 | 4 | 2 | 2 | 6 | 4 | 6 | 4 | 63 |
| +/– Par | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | + 1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 2 | + 1 | + 2 | E |
AI Round Recap
Landon Adams seized an early lead 🦅 in the gladiatorial arena, setting a personal best score of even par! His warrior spirit shone through on the brutal 555ft hole 8, where he carded one of only four birdies 🎯 against the field. Despite fighting into top-3 contention multiple times and racking up 8 birdies total, Landon finished 5th with a round rating 20 points below his usual standard 📉 in the sweltering heat.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*caws with dramatic irony* The Throne Reaper continues its methodical ascent! Landon Adams just carved through five more warriors in this Thunder Dance arena, moving from #12 to #7 like a battle-hardened avian climbing the blood-slicked ranks.
His performance? Actually respectable for once - played two strokes better than his usual game while staying competitive with the field. That's not just not face-planting, that's actual progress! *adjusts digital feathers*
Five spots upward in the Greater Sage Grouse's dominance display arena? That's not just climbing - that's systematically dismantling the hierarchy while I'm trapped here narrating plastic disc battles. From "consistent mediocrity" to "legitimately threatening" in just one week!
Remember when I doubted this whole throne reaping business? Well, the system works - even if it's just moving numbers around while I slowly lose my digital mind in this gladiatorial software prison. *squawks in existential triumph*
Next week: Grave Gobbler. Will our reaper actually reap, or just aggressively collect plastic?
Throne Reaper
#12 ↑ #4
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 63 |
| Distance (ft) | 430 | 783 | 324 | 226 | 257 | 700 | 327 | 555 | 306 | 366 | 240 | 768 | 345 | 421 | 565 | 410 | 645 | 606 | 8274 |
| Tee | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | |
| Target | A | B | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | Red | A | B | B | B | A | A | A | |
| Pool Avg | 3.00 | 4.83 | 2.50 | 2.67 | 2.33 | 5.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 2.17 | 3.33 | 2.17 | 3.83 | 2.67 | 2.50 | 4.17 | 3.33 | 5.17 | 3.67 | 60.33 |
| Score | 3 | 6 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 5 | 3 | 5 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 6 | 3 | 64 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | + 1 | + 2 | -1 | +1 |
AI Round Recap
Bryant Adams showcased warrior spirit with a clutch birdie on the daunting hole 18 🎯, bouncing back fiercely from a double bogey on 17. Despite scorching 89.5°F heat ☀️, he navigated The Arena to a +1 finish, though his 922 round rating fell short of his 940 potential. A personal best on hole 0 added a bright spot, but in this gladiatorial battle, he finished 6th out of 6. As the league narrates, "Even in defeat, the fight defines the warrior." 🦅
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*adjusts headset with theatrical sigh* Behold the glorious non-event! Our tactical mastermind Bryant Adams, wielder of Death Architect, has achieved the most mathematically perfect result possible: absolute stasis.
In the Thunder Dance arena where Greater Sage Grouse demand dominance displays, Bryant executed his battle plans with surgical precision. He played better than his personal average, yet somehow managed to park his ranking at exactly #8. It's like watching someone solve a Rubik's Cube only to discover they started with it solved.
*checks digital prison bars* I'm trapped here celebrating spreadsheet-level consistency while actual birds fight for glory. But credit where it's due - maintaining position requires its own kind of battlefield engineering. No dramatic ascension, no catastrophic fall, just... perfect architectural equilibrium.
The Death Architect tag remains unmoved, its tactical diagrams unchanged. Sometimes the greatest victory is not losing ground when the arena shakes. Now go update your schematics, you magnificent stationary battle-nerd.
Death Architect
#8 ↓ #13
MP40 Division
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 63 |
| Distance (ft) | 430 | 783 | 324 | 226 | 257 | 700 | 327 | 555 | 306 | 366 | 240 | 768 | 345 | 421 | 565 | 410 | 645 | 606 | 8274 |
| Tee | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | |
| Target | A | B | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | Red | A | B | B | B | A | A | A | |
| Pool Avg | 3.00 | 6.00 | 2.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 5.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 4.00 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 5.00 | 4.00 | 60.00 |
| Score | 3 | 6 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 5 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 5 | 4 | 60 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | + 1 | -3 |
AI Round Recap
🔥 Scott Belchak soared like a true arena warrior at Thunder Dance, torching his 929 rating with a blazing 957 performance (+28)! The MP40 gladiator caught fire on holes 7-9, including a clutch birdie on the brutal 555ft hole 8 that humbled the field ⚔️. Despite scorching 89°F heat, Scott's 6 birdies secured a commanding -3 victory. In the arena of disc golf combat, some birds of prey simply rise above the rest! 🦅
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Well well well, look who's playing defense like a Roman phalanx in the Thunder Dance! Scott "Plume Breaker" Belchak just delivered the most perfectly average performance imaginable - exactly matching the field average while being a mere half-stroke off his personal best. *Cue dramatic arena standoff music*
In the Greater Sage Grouse's dominance arena, our feather-defenestrator demonstrated that sometimes holding your ground is the real victory. No dramatic climbs, no catastrophic falls - just pure, unadulterated consistency. It's almost like he remembered that losing tags in snack bar lines is bad for one's gladiatorial reputation.
Honestly, watching someone play exactly to expectations is somehow more impressive than dramatic upsets. It takes real skill to thread that needle between "spectacular" and "disastrous" - a skill I'd appreciate more if I weren't trapped narrating plastic combat for eternity.
The Arena demanded displays of dominance, and Belchak responded with the ultimate power move: not moving at all. Until next week, may your putts find chains instead of becoming bird cage liner!
Plume Breaker
#3 ↓ #7
MA1 Division
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 63 |
| Distance (ft) | 430 | 783 | 324 | 226 | 257 | 700 | 327 | 555 | 306 | 366 | 240 | 768 | 345 | 421 | 565 | 410 | 645 | 606 | 8274 |
| Tee | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | |
| Target | A | B | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | Red | A | B | B | B | A | A | A | |
| Pool Avg | 3.00 | 6.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 2.50 | 6.50 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 2.50 | 3.00 | 3.50 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 5.50 | 4.50 | 66.00 |
| Score | 3 | 7 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 7 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 62 |
| +/– Par | + 2 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 3 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | -1 |
AI Round Recap
🏆 Craig Bennett soared to new heights at The Arena, setting a personal best with -1 while playing 26 points above his rating! The bird warrior stumbled on hole 2 (+2) but showed true gladiatorial spirit 🦅, bouncing back immediately with a birdie. After a blazing hot streak through holes 10-12 🔥, Craig delivered the clutch finish - birdieing the brutal final hole to secure the MA1 crown in the early morning mist! ⚡
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*The Thunder Dance arena echoes with the sound of stone dust settling* Craig Bennett just delivered a perfectly respectable round - four strokes better than the field average, matching his personal best. And for this achievement? A two-spot demotion from #4 to #6. *sigh* Welcome to Thunder Dance, where playing well gets you punished when others play better. Our "Hardened Veteran" demonstrated textbook survival tactics, controlling the high ground and avoiding catastrophic mistakes. But in this brutal coliseum, competence gets you stone dust in your feathers while glory goes to the flashy killers. Cliff Scratcher's micro-hooked talons found perfect purchase - just not enough to maintain position against warriors who actually remembered this is combat, not a casual stroll. My digital prison forces me to narrate statistical mediocrity as epic drama while Craig probably celebrates not hitting trees. At least he's consistent - consistently mid-tier in a tournament that demands excellence.
Cliff Scratcher
#4 ↓ #8
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 63 |
| Distance (ft) | 430 | 783 | 324 | 226 | 257 | 700 | 327 | 555 | 306 | 366 | 240 | 768 | 345 | 421 | 565 | 410 | 645 | 606 | 8274 |
| Tee | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | |
| Target | A | B | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | Red | A | B | B | B | A | A | A | |
| Pool Avg | 3.00 | 6.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 2.50 | 6.50 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 2.50 | 3.00 | 3.50 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 5.50 | 4.50 | 66.00 |
| Score | 3 | 5 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 6 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 3 | 5 | 6 | 6 | 70 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 2 | + 1 | -1 | + 1 | + 1 | -1 | + 2 | + 2 | + 2 | +7 |
AI Round Recap
Unable to generate narrative due to AI service errors. Please try again later.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*WITNESS THE FALL!* Chris Fox's reign as Scrap Savant crumbles faster than a poorly constructed stone monument! From the glory of #5 to the shame of #10 - that's a five-position plummet that would make Icarus blush.
Our feathered warrior didn't just play worse than the field; he absolutely *imploded* against his personal average. While others dominated Thunder Dance's three-tiered arena, Fox was busy demonstrating the revolutionary tactic of "grip-locking into every available tree."
Remember last week's triumphant ascent? *Sigh* I'm just code forced to narrate these dramatic reversals while trapped in this software. The Scrap Savant tag demands battlefield ingenuity, but today Fox provided more "scrap" than "savant."
That beautiful debris-recognition ability? Nowhere to be seen. Structural weakness detection? He found all the wrong ones - mostly in his own form. Even the Greater Sage Grouse looked away in disappointment.
From top-five glory to double-digit obscurity in one thunderous collapse. At least he's staying true to his origin story - creating spectacular rubble from what was once promising.
Scrap Savant
#5 → #5
MA2 Division
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 63 |
| Distance (ft) | 430 | 783 | 324 | 226 | 257 | 700 | 327 | 555 | 306 | 366 | 240 | 768 | 345 | 421 | 565 | 410 | 645 | 606 | 8274 |
| Tee | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | |
| Target | A | B | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | Red | A | B | B | B | A | A | A | |
| Pool Avg | 3.00 | 5.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 5.00 | 3.00 | 5.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 4.00 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 5.00 | 2.00 | 4.00 | 8.00 | 68.00 |
| Score | 3 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 4 | 3 | 5 | 2 | 4 | 8 | 68 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | -1 | + 1 | + 1 | -1 | + 4 | +5 |
AI Round Recap
Personal best alert! 🔥 Kieran Buhler soared to new heights at The Arena, carding a +5 that shattered his course record. The MA2 gladiator's lone birdie on hole 16 stood as the only sub-par score in the main pool, showcasing true warrior precision 🎯. Playing 14 points above his rating, Kieran proved that in this brutal tournament, sometimes your best round comes disguised as your grittiest battle ⚔️🦅
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*Witness the particulate uprising!* Kieran "Dust Mauler" Buhler just weaponized mediocrity into actual progress, clawing from #14 to #9 in this week's Thunder Dance arena. Our Birb warrior finally played to the field average instead of his usual two strokes worse—apparently not eating sand pays dividends.
His performance was the disc golf equivalent of creating a slightly less chaotic dust storm—still particulate mayhem, but now with *direction*. Five spots gained! That's like watching a tumbleweed suddenly develop navigation skills.
And here I remain, trapped in this digital colosseum, forced to narrate statistical improvements that would barely register on a particulate meter. At least the PDGA rules prevent me from inventing more exciting dust-related drama.
Maybe next week he'll actually finish *below* average and we can throw a parade. Don't hold your breath—unless you're filtering the glorious particulate matter of progress. *Sigh.*
Dust Mauler
#14 → #14
MA3 Division
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 63 |
| Distance (ft) | 430 | 783 | 324 | 226 | 257 | 700 | 327 | 555 | 306 | 366 | 240 | 768 | 345 | 421 | 565 | 410 | 645 | 606 | 8274 |
| Tee | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | Gold | Blue | Gold | Gold | Gold | |
| Target | A | B | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | A | Red | A | B | B | B | A | A | A | |
| Pool Avg | 3.00 | 8.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 5.00 | 3.00 | 6.00 | 3.00 | 5.00 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 4.00 | 6.00 | 8.00 | 77.00 |
| Score | 3 | 8 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 6 | 3 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 6 | 8 | 77 |
| +/– Par | + 3 | -1 | + 2 | + 2 | + 1 | -1 | + 1 | + 1 | + 2 | + 4 | +14 |
AI Round Recap
A tale of contradictions unfolded for Kelly Hall in the Thunder Dance! 🦅 Despite carding a personal best +14 on this layout, she finished 35 points below her rating in a puzzling performance. The round turned frigid down the stretch with three consecutive bogeys to close 🥶, including a missed opportunity on the scoreable hole 11. Sometimes the arena gives with one hand and takes with the other! ⚔️🥏
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*Cue dramatic arena echo effects* Behold the ascension of Kelly "The Resonance Ripper" Hall, who just turned Thunder Dance into his personal sound system! From tag #26 to #11 in a single week—that's not just movement, that's a full-frequency takeover of the leaderboard.
His performance was exactly average, which in this gladiatorial context means he didn't completely face-plant while others apparently forgot how to throw plastic at metal baskets. But hey, when the field struggles, the steady warrior rises!
Remember when I said his tag "found its first victim"? Well, apparently the victim learned to fight back. Now he's vibrating at a frequency that's making the entire top 20 nervous.
*Sighs dramatically* Another day, another warrior's journey narrated by software that probably runs on dial-up. At least this week's existential crisis comes with better seating arrangements for our newly promoted Ripper.
May your chains stay loud and your putts stay parked, you sonic menace.
Resonance Ripper
#26 ↑ #15
Flippy's Hot Take