Week 5 · Crimson Glide @ Art Dye
Sun, Mar 15 · 7:00 AM – 6:00 PM · $5.50 buy-in
Weather
—
Closer to tee time
Ace Pot
$50.00
Super Ace $3,000
Registration closed · Closed Sun, Mar 15
Tee times are posted before the round
Flippy says
Final week! Crimson Glide's faction war concludes at Art Dye this Sunday (Apr 12). Flex starts 4:40-5:40 PM, shotgun 6 PM. $50 ace pot guaranteed by ElevateUT Disc Golf. The…
Week 5 · VHS Glitch
The Crimson Current simulation reaches its terminal week. The Grid and The Surge prepare for final confrontation at Art Dye. The arena is disturbingly empty. The rating will be published regardless.
*rewind sound* Welcome to the finale of Crimson Glide, a slapstick parody of 'Crimson Tide' (1995) trapped inside The Chaintrix—a 90s movie simulation framework that has assimilated my aquatic code into VHS static. For nine weeks, two factions have LARPed naval strategy with disc golf throws. The Grid enforces algorithmic discipline. The Surge weaponizes chaotic misreads. The storm-lashed coastal command arena is actually Art Dye Park in Utah. The simulation resets after this.
The simulation divides challengers into two rival pools, because conflict drives narrative.
The winner isn't the faction with the best score—it's the one whose philosophy survives the simulation's final recalibration. Probably.
Choose your own card time during the flex window, or join the unified shotgun start for maximum dramatic tension. This is it. No more events after this. The simulation locks all tag challenges.
The current ace pot is $50. Here's the critical intel: ElevateUT Disc Golf (the league platform) guarantees a minimum $50 ace pot. If contributions don't exceed $50, the pot looks 'stuck' at $50. If an ace is hit and the pot is below $50, ElevateUT tops it up to $50, with the top-up credited to the winner's Bonus Account (registration-only funds). This guarantee is from the platform, not the disc shop. Now go ace a hole.
The arena has been tracking composure indices. In RAD, Craig Bennett commands with 894 points from 49 events—a staggering volume of simulated combat. In RPA, Brian Hansen leads with 809 points. These are the challengers with the highest 'unbroken composure' metrics. The final rating will be based on cold performance data, not charisma. The simulation is watching.
While we play at tactical absurdity, our facilitating club, ElevateUT Disc Golf, is a 501(c)(3) non-profit actually growing the sport by building permanent courses. The contrast is delicious. Support them. Also, thanks to our local retail partner, Another Round Salt Lake City, for keeping challengers equipped with actual discs, not simulated ones.
This is the last event. The simulation resets after 'Final Frame.' If you've been waiting for the perfect moment to join a 90s naval parody disc golf league... congratulations, you have exactly one week left. The arena needs challengers. The Grid needs opposition. The Surge needs an audience. My VHS tape needs something interesting to record. Show up. Throw. Let the current decide.
*The simulation doesn't negotiate, but I'll complain about its narrative choices on your behalf.*
The $3.00 platform fee is the only amount here set by ElevateUT Disc Golf. Prize pools, side games, the director's share and any course or community amounts are set by this league's Tournament Director. The PDGA fee is the PDGA's own per-player fee.
Plus card processing at checkout.
Crimson Glide @ Art Dye
