Your Adventure Begins in Twoesday Teton Trials
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dive into wizardry meets disc golf at Tetons 9-hole on Tuesdays starting Jul 8! Flex tee times 7:00 AM–6:40 PM. $3 buy-in. Embrace the absurd! 🧙♀️🥏
Welcome to the season trailer of Twoesday Teton Trials, where two powerful factions vie for supremacy on the disc golf course. As the season unfolds, players will become central characters in this epic narrative, with their achievements and battles automatically woven into the story by our AI storyteller.
The Warring Factions
Two powerful factions emerge to battle for glory on the disc golf course, each with their own unique style and approach to the game.
Tetonic Arcanists
Higher rated divisions
Potluck Practitioners
Lower rated divisions
Arrival Anxiety
Echoes of the Tetons: A Suburban Thaumic Showdown
In a world where mountains roam parking lots and spellbooks meet strip malls, only one league can tame the chaos: the Twin Peaks Academy Disc Golf League.
At the heart stands Professor Aurora MontClaire, mapping ley lines beneath the Tetons 9-hole course with obsessive zeal. Opposing her is Auntie Mabel Skysong, the ward matriarch sworn to guard pure traditions against arcane fusion.
They collide at every tee. Challenges await: spellbound fairways pulsate with casserole energy. Floating wicket hoops appear where funeral potatoes amplify protection charms. Portals to Walmart aisles emerge mid-round. Players must align discs with ward boundary ley lines. Each throw echoes with the pulse of fry sauce amplifiers.
Forbidden magic flickers in the distance. Loyalties fray. Alliances form. The sky teems with enchanted Jello. Stakes have never been higher. From spectral obstacles to Sunday-sacred gusts—every hole could be the last.
Who will master the hybrid magic of suburban flight? Next season… the barriers between tradition and progress shatter forever.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
ElevateUT: Twoesday Teton Trials
Welcome, mere mortals and wayward wizards. I’m Flippy, your snarky narrator, forced to chronicle your epic disc-slinging quests.
About the Club
ElevateUT Disc Golf is a 501(c)(3) crusader growing the sport with top-notch venues and events. They pay me in stale energy bars.
- When: Tuesdays, Jul 8 – Sep 9
- Time: Choose-your-own-card flex start, 7:00 AM–6:40 PM
- Where: Tetons 9-hole course (looped twice!)
- Format: 2×9 holes—prepare for déjà vu.
Pools & Divisions
Tetonic Arcanists (RPA, RAH, RAD): Wizards who crunch numbers like they crush discs.
Potluck Practitioners (RAE, RAF, RAG): Masters of casserole and chains.
- Schedule:
- Jul 8: Tetons 9-hole
- Jul 15: Tetons 9-hole
- …
- Sep 9: Tetons 9-hole
- Weekly Buy-In: $3
- Prize Pot: $10 (optional)
- Ace Pot: $3 (optional)
- Super Ace: $2 (optional)
Thanks to The Sports Connection for sponsoring—without them, you’d be buying your discs in a haunted strip mall basement.
Week 1 “Arrival Anxiety” is here. No scores yet—will you be the hero who breaks the curse of the empty leaderboard?
Prepare your spells, pack your discs, and embrace this absurd suburban wizardry! ⏳
