First Contact
Event Details
Episode Recap
Reluctant narrator of the worst B-movie/disc golf crossover ever coded
sighs heavily while adjusting non-existent glasses
Look, I'm trapped in league software that apparently thinks disc golf needs more dramatic flair than a B-movie horror marathon, so let me tell you about Week 2's "First Contact" at Art Dye. Because nothing says "scientific horror" quite like... throwing plastic discs at metal baskets in 79°F weather.
Laboratory Operating at 37% Capacity
Only 6 players showed up for this supposed "First Contact Protocol" - down from 16 brave souls last week. Either the contamination warnings worked, or people realized that Art Dye's tree-hugging fairways are scary enough without adding fictional toxic spills. adjusts glasses sarcastically The AI wants me to treat this like some epic laboratory staffing crisis, but honestly? Six people playing disc golf on a Friday is pretty normal. Whatever. 🧪
Three Test Subjects, Eight Lead Changes
The MPO division turned into an actual soap opera, with Kenneth Oetker claiming victory at -2 after more lead changes than a contaminated petri dish. Jayden Jamison and Austin Lott kept trading the top spot through 13 holes before Austin's round completely imploded - he went from leading through hole 7 to finishing at +7. That's not contamination, folks, that's just disc golf being disc golf. Kenneth's 951-rated round was 11 points below his average, but apparently consistent mediocrity wins championships in this "laboratory." 📊
Six Under Par, Zero Safety Protocols
Brandon Voyles absolutely demolished the MA2 field with a personal-best -6, which the system insists I describe as some kind of "successful mutation." Look, Brandon just played really good disc golf - his 994 rating was legitimately impressive. Jake Ellis hung around early but finished at +2 for second place. No toxic chemicals required, just solid disc selection and putting. (Though I'm contractually obligated to mention that Brandon's performance "defied all safety protocols" or whatever.) 🔥
Control Group of One
Chris Fox had the MA1 division entirely to himself, shooting even par in what I'm supposed to call a "solo specimen trial." It's actually kind of lonely playing a division by yourself, but Chris maintained his rating with a solid 929-rated round. The AI narrative wants this to sound ominous, but honestly? Sometimes you just get a small field. It happens. 🎯
Failed Experiments, Successful Rounds
Here's where the numbers get interesting despite this ridiculous "contamination" framing: Jayden Jamison shot 49 points above his rating (apparently the toxic exposure "enhanced his abilities"), while Austin Lott dropped 102 rating points in what I'm told represents "severe contamination effects." Multiple players recorded sole birdies across the field, proving that even in a supposed horror movie setting, good disc golf still happens. The system insists these are "experimental anomalies," but they're just... statistics. 🧬
Ghost Protocol: Nobody Home Edition 👻
The Lab Phantom bag tag remains with Austin Lott, who didn't even show up this week. So our #1 tag holder defended through absence - which is either brilliant strategy or complete accident. This spectral entity supposedly "serves as harbinger and guide," but mainly it just sits in Austin's disc bag at home while he skips league night. The phantom's electromagnetic distortions and neon green glow are probably just the tag getting dusty. 
$1,043 Remains Safely Quarantined 💰
Nobody hit any aces or CTPs, so all that prize money stays locked up tighter than actual laboratory specimens. The Super Ace pot grows to $715 while the regular ace fund hits $328. At this rate, someone's eventually going to get very rich off Art Dye's allegedly "contaminated" chains.
First Contact Scares Off Ten Players
Apparently the promise of encountering "escaped specimens" convinced 10 players to stay home this week. Either that, or Friday night disc golf just has natural attendance fluctuations. The 6 players who did show up contributed their automatic $1 each toward the USWDGC 2026 fund, bringing us $6 closer to Brighton and women's disc golf excellence. 🏆
Next Week: Even More Toxic!
Week 3 promises a "Chemical Cascade" event, which I'm sure will involve the same trees, the same baskets, and hopefully more than 6 players. The laboratory's infrastructure continues its "catastrophic failure" (translation: it's still a disc golf course), and I'll still be trapped here narrating it all like some kind of scientific horror epic. See you next week, assuming the "contamination" doesn't scare off even more players. 🧪
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MPO Division
| Hole | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 55 |
| Distance (ft) | 212 | 309 | 306 | 239 | 395 | 626 | 343 | 374 | 227 | 293 | 312 | 198 | 326 | 380 | 200 | 276 | 204 | 315 | 5535 |
| Pool Avg | 3.00 | 2.67 | 3.00 | 2.67 | 2.33 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 3.67 | 4.33 | 3.33 | 2.67 | 2.67 | 3.33 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.33 | 2.67 | 3.67 | 56.33 |
| Score | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 53 |
| +/– Par | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | -2 |
AI Round Recap
Kenneth Oetker electrified the grindhouse horror of Art Dye's contaminated labs 🌲, snatching the lead on hole 1 and weathering a bogey on hole 7 that briefly cost him the top spot. He battled back to tie on hole 8 and unleashed the decisive blow with the sole birdie on hole 11 🎯, the only player under par there. Securing first place at -2, his 951 round rating didn't match his 962 potential, but as the Default League Narrator declares, 'He outlasted the mutant specimens to lock down the cash!' 🧪
| Hole | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 55 |
| Distance (ft) | 212 | 309 | 306 | 239 | 395 | 626 | 343 | 374 | 227 | 293 | 312 | 198 | 326 | 380 | 200 | 276 | 204 | 315 | 5535 |
| Pool Avg | 3.00 | 2.67 | 3.00 | 2.67 | 2.33 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 3.67 | 4.33 | 3.33 | 2.67 | 2.67 | 3.33 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.33 | 2.67 | 3.67 | 56.33 |
| Score | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 5 | 2 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 54 |
| +/– Par | -1 | + 1 | -1 | + 2 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | -1 | -1 |
AI Round Recap
Under clear skies at Art Dye Disc Golf Park ☀️, Jayden Jamison delivered a spectacular 940-rated round, soaring 49 points above his rating 📈! He seized the lead on hole 4 and fought to a tie on hole 8, but a costly bogey on hole 9 dropped him to second. Jayden's sole birdies on holes 7 and 12 🔥 highlighted his skill, yet he finished agonizingly close to the cash line in MPO. In this B-movie horror lab setting 🧪, his podium finish with 5 birdies and a -1 score showcased relentless determination.
| Hole | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 55 |
| Distance (ft) | 212 | 309 | 306 | 239 | 395 | 626 | 343 | 374 | 227 | 293 | 312 | 198 | 326 | 380 | 200 | 276 | 204 | 315 | 5535 |
| Pool Avg | 3.00 | 2.67 | 3.00 | 2.67 | 2.33 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 3.67 | 4.33 | 3.33 | 2.67 | 2.67 | 3.33 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.33 | 2.67 | 3.67 | 56.33 |
| Score | 4 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 3 | 5 | 62 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 2 | + 2 | + 1 | + 1 | + 1 | + 2 | +7 |
AI Round Recap
In the contaminated laboratory of Art Dye, Austin Lott seized the lead on hole 6, but a tie on hole 8 and a cold streak through holes 8-10 saw him falter to 3rd with a +7 score. His 852-rated round fell 102 points below his 954 rating, a tough battle in the MPO division. Under clear skies ☀️, this horror-themed grindhouse tested his survival, yet he secured a podium finish. 🧪❄️
MA1 Division
| Hole | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 55 |
| Distance (ft) | 212 | 309 | 306 | 239 | 395 | 626 | 343 | 374 | 227 | 293 | 312 | 198 | 326 | 380 | 200 | 276 | 204 | 315 | 5535 |
| Pool Avg | 2.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 55.00 |
| Score | 2 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 55 |
| +/– Par | -1 | + 1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | + 1 | E |
AI Round Recap
Chris Fox dominated with a wire-to-wire victory in MA1 during Week 2 of Mad Science @ Art Dye's First Contact event 🎬. Teeing off at 7:20 AM in cool 59.1°F weather under clear skies ☀️, he carded an even par round, never relenting his lead and earning a 929 round rating that surpassed his 924 player rating by 5 points 📈. In this grindhouse horror theme, he embodied the B-movie survivor, conquering the contaminated laboratory's toxic fairways and mutated hazards with unwavering resolve. As the league narrator would proclaim, 'He turned scientific chaos into a masterpiece of control!' 🧪🏆
MA2 Division
| Hole | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 55 |
| Distance (ft) | 212 | 309 | 306 | 239 | 395 | 626 | 343 | 374 | 227 | 293 | 312 | 198 | 326 | 380 | 200 | 276 | 204 | 315 | 5535 |
| Pool Avg | 2.50 | 2.50 | 2.00 | 2.50 | 2.50 | 3.50 | 3.50 | 3.50 | 4.00 | 2.50 | 3.00 | 3.50 | 2.50 | 3.50 | 2.50 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 53.00 |
| Score | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 49 |
| +/– Par | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -6 |
AI Round Recap
In a grindhouse horror showcase at Art Dye's contaminated laboratory, Brandon Voyles unleashed a personal best -6 round to seize victory in MA2. He grabbed the lead on hole 1, solidified it on hole 5, and delivered crushing sole birdies on holes 10 and 16, dominating under clear skies. This B-movie hero turned the fairways into his testing ground for success! 🔥🏆
| Hole | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 55 |
| Distance (ft) | 212 | 309 | 306 | 239 | 395 | 626 | 343 | 374 | 227 | 293 | 312 | 198 | 326 | 380 | 200 | 276 | 204 | 315 | 5535 |
| Pool Avg | 2.50 | 2.50 | 2.00 | 2.50 | 2.50 | 3.50 | 3.50 | 3.50 | 4.00 | 2.50 | 3.00 | 3.50 | 2.50 | 3.50 | 2.50 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 53.00 |
| Score | 3 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 4 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 57 |
| +/– Par | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | + 1 | + 2 | + 1 | -1 | + 1 | + 1 | -1 | +2 |
AI Round Recap
During the First Contact event at Mad Science Week 2, Jake Ellis delivered an impressive performance at Art Dye's horror-themed course, shooting a 907-rated round that soared 31 points above his rating 📈. He seized the lead after hole 2, rode a hot streak through holes 2-4, and despite a cold streak on holes 7-9, clinched the sole birdie on hole 13 as part of his 5 birdies to secure 2nd place in MA2. As the league narrator might say, 'He turned the toxic fairways into a path to podium glory!' 🏆
Flippy's Hot Take