First Sighting
Event Details
Weather Conditions
Division Averages
Episode Recap
In space, no one can hear you grip lock... but I can
adjusts non-existent glasses while staring at the fog-covered course data
First Contact, Last Nerve
Well, well, well. Week 2 of our delightful creature feature has arrived, and apparently 31 brave souls decided to venture into Creekside Park's fog-shrouded fairways for what the AI marketing department calls "First Sighting." sigh Because nothing says "fun Monday league" like wet prints on tee pads and something massive lurking in the mist at hole 3. Under those ominously pleasant broken clouds ☁️, our players navigated the B-Pool Mirage Zone layout while I'm stuck here narrating aquatic horror for plastic circles. This is peak absurdity, folks.
Clean Rounds, Dirty Water 🌊
The MPO division delivered some genuinely impressive disc golf, despite the theatrical nonsense I'm forced to describe. Jared Lang absolutely demolished the field with a -9 performance, finally putting his obsessive creature-tracking surveillance to good use. His 1002-rated round was legitimately stellar, and yes, I'm required to mention that he went bogey-free like some sort of B-movie final survivor. Malachi Vazquez and Ben Marolf tied for second at -7, with Ben briefly holding the lead after hole 8 before Jared reclaimed control. Both also managed bogey-free rounds because apparently surviving aquatic monsters requires perfect disc golf 🎯.
Four Enter, One Escapes 🔪
MA1 turned into a proper horror story, though not the kind the theme designers intended. Chris Fox took the early lead and never looked back, cruising to a -4 victory in wire-to-wire fashion. Meanwhile, Craig Bennett experienced what I can only describe as a rating apocalypse - tumbling 158 points below his 908 rating in a performance so catastrophic it actually fits our B-movie theme. Bernard Dieker, Anthony Kai, and Craig all tied for the lead on hole 2, but only Fox survived the creature-infested waters with his sanity intact.
Hot Streaks, Cold Creeks
MA2 provided the kind of dramatic comeback that would make Hollywood proud, if Hollywood made movies about disc golf (they don't, thankfully). Eric Pearson lost the lead on hole 7 but stormed back with a blazing 3-hole hot streak to claim victory at -5. His 53-point rating boost was genuinely impressive, setting a personal best while playing some legitimately great disc golf. Jake Ellis briefly held the lead on hole 14 before settling for second at -3, because apparently the creatures demand sacrifice just before the finish line 🔥.
Chase Scene, Literally 🏃
MA3 witnessed Chase Lambert catch fire on the back nine - and yes, I have to acknowledge that his name perfectly fits our ridiculous chase sequence narrative. He shot 5 strokes better than the front to claim victory at -3, playing 83 points above his rating in what was actually a monster performance. Matt Berman secured second place after his own 3-hole hot streak, because apparently everyone's required to have dramatic scoring runs in this creature feature. The division saw more lead changes than a B-movie plot twist marathon.
Beginner's Luck? More Like Cursed 👻
MA4 proved that even novice players can't escape the fog-shrouded drama. Stephen Marks held steady for the win at +3 after taking the lead on hole 7, showing the kind of consistency that survives horror movies. Jordan Lucero led early but couldn't maintain it, while Kevin Koga's promising start dissolved after hole 4 like morning mist. William Fetzer and anthony Shirley managed to carve out solid finishes despite the aquatic chaos, with William setting a personal best +8.
One Player, Zero Witnesses 🕵️♂️
Our solo division winners faced the creatures alone, which honestly makes their performances more impressive. Brian Bowling dominated MA40 with a personal best -1, Brian Hansen conquered MP40 at -3, Marvin Atene crushed MP50 with -5, Michael Whipple survived MP60 at +1, and Ben Allen claimed MJ18 at +2. No witnesses means no one can verify what really happened out there in the fog, but the scorecards don't lie.
Rating Massacre Monday 🔪
Look, I have to give credit where it's due - 25 players set personal bests this week, which is actually remarkable even if I'm forced to describe it like some sort of statistical horror movie. Chase Lambert's 83-point rating boost, Jared Lang's 1002-rated round, and those bogey-free performances from Lang and Marolf were legitimately excellent disc golf. The fact that I have to wrap this in creature feature nonsense doesn't diminish the actual skill displayed.
Tag #1: Paranoia Pays 💰
Our resident Pool Psycho Jared Lang has officially vindicated every sleep-deprived surveillance session and waterlogged scorecard covered in illegible creature-tracking notes. His ascension from tag #35 to #1 proves that sometimes obsessive paranoia actually works when you're trapped in an AI-generated aquatic horror league. Wild-eyed and disheveled from crawling through creek-side undergrowth, Jared's compulsive creature mapping finally paid off with that dominant -9 performance. The real question is whether his psychological breaking point can handle being at the top, or if the pressure will drive him even deeper into his makeshift equipment fashioned from disc golf accessories.
Creatures Ate the Aces
In a shocking twist that absolutely no one saw coming (because I'm literally making this up as I go), the aquatic monsters apparently scared away all potential CTP and Ace winners this week. Zero special event payouts were recorded, which means either the creatures are getting bolder or everyone's aim got worse in the fog. The pots will continue growing more ominous for next week's adventures, assuming anyone survives long enough to throw at the pins.
Monsters Can't Stop Charity 💪
Week 2's "First Sighting" delivered on its promise with wet prints materializing on tee pads and players glimpsing massive shapes moving through the fog, because apparently we're committed to this visual confirmation nonsense. Meanwhile, our 31 players automatically contributed another $31 to the USWDGC 2026 fund, pushing the total to $8,592 (86% of our $10,000 goal) - proving that even aquatic horrors can't prevent us from supporting women's disc golf.
Visibility Optional, Terror Guaranteed ⚠️
With visual confirmation of the creatures now undeniably established (according to my script, anyway), our 31 survivors must brace themselves for Week 3's "Fog Thickens" episode, where visibility drops to mere feet and navigation becomes truly treacherous. stares directly at camera I'm genuinely curious how much worse this can get before someone realizes we're just playing disc golf in Utah, not filming a low-budget monster movie. But hey, at least the disc golf analysis remains solid even when wrapped in supernatural fog and tentacle references 🌫️.
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MPO Division
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.20 | 2.60 | 2.40 | 2.20 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 3.40 | 2.80 | 2.60 | 2.20 | 2.80 | 2.20 | 2.20 | 3.00 | 2.60 | 2.40 | 2.60 | 3.00 | 47.20 |
| Score | 2 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 45 |
| +/– Par | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -9 |
AI Round Recap
In a monstrous display at Creekside Park 🌊, Jared Lang unleashed a personal best -9, firing 62 points above his rating with a 1002-rated masterpiece 🔥. He seized the lead early on hole 1, nabbing the sole birdie on a tough par-3 and maintained a bogey-free streak to dominate the MPO field. Surviving the creature feature in style, this was a round straight out of a blockbuster horror flick 🎬! 🏆
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*adjusts night vision goggles while sighing dramatically*
Well folks, our resident Pool Psycho has officially gone from bottom-feeding 35 to apex predator #1! Jared Lang ripped through the fog-shrouded fairways like a perfectly thrown driver, navigating the "First Sighting" chaos while everyone else was busy screaming at ripples.
His waterlogged scorecards are basically the Blair Witch Project of disc golf now - covered in illegible notes about creature patterns and makeshift tracking equipment fashioned from disc golf accessories. *stares directly at camera like The Office* I'm literally trapped in league software narrating aquatic horror for plastic circles. This is peak B-movie absurdity.
The real question: can this sleep-deprived surveillance expert handle the psychological pressure of being #1? Or will his compulsive creature-mapping finally get him tentacle-whipped? Stay tuned for next week's episode of "What We Do in the Water Hazards"!
Pool Psycho
#35 ↑ #1
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.20 | 2.60 | 2.40 | 2.20 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 3.40 | 2.80 | 2.60 | 2.20 | 2.80 | 2.20 | 2.20 | 3.00 | 2.60 | 2.40 | 2.60 | 3.00 | 47.20 |
| Score | 3 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 47 |
| +/– Par | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -7 |
AI Round Recap
In a stellar performance at Creekside Park ⛳, Malachi Vazquez shattered his personal best with a -7 round, firing a 977-rated game that soared 23 points above his rating 📈! He clawed into the top 3 multiple times and birdied the treacherous hole 15, but narrowly missed cashing in a tie for 2nd 🏆. As the league narrator might say, "He turned the creature feature fog into a spotlight on excellence!" 🎬
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*swamp water drips from my virtual microphone as I'm forced to narrate tag number changes in this grindhouse purgatory*
Well folks, our resident Wetland Psycho just went full method actor! Malachi Vazquez emerged from the fog-shrouded waters like a budget horror jump scare, navigating Creekside's creature-infested fairways with the unnerving precision of someone who KNOWS where the tentacles lurk. His intimate creek knowledge apparently translates to "not throwing like garbage," which in this B-movie software means climbing from tag #16 to #2 in one terrifying leap.
*adjusts waterlogged director's chair while the PDGA probably disapproves*
Remember when I said his gleeful cackle at water hazards screamed "psycho material"? Turns out that swamp madness was pure strategy! He's now lurking near the top of our leaderboard, ready to appear from the mist whenever someone challenges his position. The real horror? I have to keep doing this for 8 more weeks. Someone send help. And dry socks.
Wetland Psycho
#16 ↑ #2
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.20 | 2.60 | 2.40 | 2.20 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 3.40 | 2.80 | 2.60 | 2.20 | 2.80 | 2.20 | 2.20 | 3.00 | 2.60 | 2.40 | 2.60 | 3.00 | 47.20 |
| Score | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 47 |
| +/– Par | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -7 |
AI Round Recap
In a gripping Creature Feature showdown at Creekside Park, Ben Marolf delivered a personal best -7 round, soaring 33 points above his rating with a 977-rated, bogey-free performance. 🔥📈 He climbed into 2nd place after hole 5, seized the lead on hole 8, and secured a podium finish, though he narrowly missed the cash line in a competitive MPO field. Amid warm, breezy conditions, his B-movie heroics shone through—your league narrator quips, 'He battled the aquatic monsters and emerged a champion!' 🎬🥏
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*swirls imaginary fog while glaring at the camera*
So the Fen Fiend wasn't kidding about that "environmental manipulator" gig! Ben Marolf just went from swamp dweller to fog master, climbing 34 positions while the rest of us mere mortals were basically playing disc golf blindfolded.
*slumps against invisible software wall*
I'm trapped in this B-movie commentary prison forced to narrate tag numbers like they're dramatic plot twists. But credit where it's due - Ben navigated the Fen Fiend's subsonic vibrations and peat-based form like he was born in the murk.
Remember when I said he had "muck monster material"? Well apparently that 977-rated round proved it. He didn't just survive the fog - he weaponized it. Now he's sitting pretty at #3 while the Fen Fiend's chilling aura thickens the plot for everyone else.
*stares deadpan* This software better have a fog machine budget.
Fen Fiend
#37 ↑ #3
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.20 | 2.60 | 2.40 | 2.20 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 3.40 | 2.80 | 2.60 | 2.20 | 2.80 | 2.20 | 2.20 | 3.00 | 2.60 | 2.40 | 2.60 | 3.00 | 47.20 |
| Score | 4 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 48 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -6 |
AI Round Recap
In the eerie fog of Creekside Park's creature feature 🌫️, PJ Lenz set a personal best with a -6 round in Week 2! 🎬 PJ's 7-birdie barrage included a clutch performance on the tough hole 14, defying its over-par average. 🔥 Placing 4th in MPO, his 964 rating hints at untapped potential compared to his 971 rating. As the Default League Narrator quips, 'He survived the B-movie horror and emerged with a record to remember!' 🥏
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*my narrator headset crackles with static from the Devourer's disorienting hum*
Well folks, the "First Sighting" wasn't just wet footprints - PJ Lenz's Depths Devourer just emerged from the fog-shrouded fairways to make waves in the tag rankings! From 41st to 4th is a tidal wave of success that would make the Creature from the Black Lagoon jealous.
*stares directly at camera like I'm in The Office*
I'm literally trapped in league management software forced to narrate tag numbers as if they're epic monster battles. PJ navigated the thickening fog with solid play, and now his semi-corporeal glow-up has him phasing through 37 competitors like they're mere creek water.
Remember when I said this cosmic monster was "hangry"? Well it's consuming energy from the field faster than it disrupts electronics. That meteorite-powered hunger is now hungry for more than just birdies - watch your step near those feeding zones!
Depths Devourer
#41 ↑ #4
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.20 | 2.60 | 2.40 | 2.20 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 3.40 | 2.80 | 2.60 | 2.20 | 2.80 | 2.20 | 2.20 | 3.00 | 2.60 | 2.40 | 2.60 | 3.00 | 47.20 |
| Score | 4 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 5 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 49 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 2 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | -1 | -5 |
AI Round Recap
In the fog-shrouded Creature Feature at Creekside Park, Austin Lott battled aquatic monsters to card a personal best -5 round! 🌫️🥏 He surged into 3rd place on holes 4 and 11, riding a fiery 4-hole hot streak that ended on 12. With a 951 round rating just below his 954 potential, his B-movie heroics showcased thrilling ups and downs. As your league narrator might say, "He survived the horror to etch his name in the record books!" 🔥
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*record scratch* The Tributary Mummy just used the creek system like an aquatic Uber Pool, transporting Austin Lott from tag #29 to #6! While everyone else was choking in the supernatural mist, our soggy shaman's chosen one stayed consistent. *sigh* I'm literally trapped in league software narrating algae-stained bandages. This ancient curse business is giving serious 1999 "The Mummy" vibes, except instead of treasure, we're chasing plastic circles. The construction crews upstream disturbed more than spawning grounds—they unleashed watery vengeance that's now *dissolving into tributaries and reforming at will*. Remember when I said Austin was "wrapped up in trouble"? Well now he's wrapped up in success! The fog's only getting thicker, folks—better watch those water hazards.
Tributary Mummy
#29 ↑ #6
MP40 Division
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 2.00 | 2.00 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 51.00 |
| Score | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 51 |
| +/– Par | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -3 |
AI Round Recap
In the fog-shrouded creature feature of Creekside Park 👻, Brian Hansen delivered a standout performance in Week 2's First Sighting. He set a new personal best with a -3 score 📈, highlighted by a clutch birdie on the challenging hole 15 that typically plays over par. Securing the MP40 division win, Brian's 926 round rating trailed his 938 player rating, but his resilience under pleasant skies ☀️ shone through. The league narrator quips: "He survived the aquatic horrors to claim a real-life B-movie triumph!" 🎬
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*adjusts imaginary director's beret while fog literally consumes the entire course*
Friends, the "First Sighting" episode delivered exactly what this B-movie nightmare promised: Brian Hansen emerging from the supernatural fog like a Victorian horror protagonist on a mission. While aquatic creatures breached the creek surface, Brian was busy making waves of his own, leaping from the murky depths of 19 to a terrifyingly respectable 9.
*stares directly at camera like The Office but with more existential dread*
I'm forced to narrate plastic tag drama while literal monsters emerge from the water. The Brook Doll's bioluminescent eyes probably saw this coming - those wet footprints leading straight up the rankings. Brian's solid round proves you can navigate supernatural fog and still improve your position dramatically.
The Victorian vengeance tour continues! That porcelain terror with abandonment issues must be proud of its watery disciple. Ten positions gained in creature-infested conditions? That's the kind of glow-up even a creek-dwelling doll can appreciate.
Brook Doll
#19 ↑ #9
MA1 Division
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.75 | 3.25 | 3.00 | 2.25 | 2.75 | 3.25 | 3.00 | 3.50 | 3.25 | 2.50 | 2.75 | 3.50 | 2.75 | 4.00 | 5.00 | 2.75 | 3.75 | 3.50 | 58.50 |
| Score | 3 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 50 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -4 |
AI Round Recap
Chris Fox conquered the fog-shrouded Creature Feature @ Creekside, blazing to a personal best -4 round to seize first place in MA1 🏆. He snatched the lead on hole 1 and never relented, capping his performance with a gutsy birdie on the treacherous hole 15 that baffled most competitors 🔥. Outpacing his rating by 15 points, Chris embodied the B-movie hero surviving aquatic horrors in this grindhouse exhibition 🌫️. As the default narrator declares, "He turned the monster-infested waters into his victory lap!" 🎬
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*record scratch* So Chris Fox apparently decided foggy aquatic horror is his natural habitat. While others flailed in the supernatural mist, our boy absolutely *drained putts* like he had gills.
He shambled his way from 27 to single digits, basically pulling a Shaun of the Dead but with more hyzers and less Winchester. The Cascade Zombie must be proud—its chosen bearer made water flow backward up the rankings!
*deep sigh* I'm literally software forced to narrate plastic tags like they're Oscar contenders. But seriously, watching Fox navigate this fog-shrouded nightmare was almost... impressive?
Remember when I joked about zombie numerology and his PDGA 46 meaning "shambles with purpose"? Well, he took that literally, leaving wet footprints all over the competition.
Now the real question: can he keep this soggy undead momentum going, or will he sink back into the murky depths of double digits?
Cascade Zombie
#27 ↑ #8
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.75 | 3.25 | 3.00 | 2.25 | 2.75 | 3.25 | 3.00 | 3.50 | 3.25 | 2.50 | 2.75 | 3.50 | 2.75 | 4.00 | 5.00 | 2.75 | 3.75 | 3.50 | 58.50 |
| Score | 4 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 59 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | -1 | + 2 | -1 | + 1 | + 1 | + 2 | -1 | + 1 | +5 |
AI Round Recap
Despite battling through a challenging round 80 points below his rating, Bernard Dieker still managed something special at Creekside 🌊 - a new personal best +5 for this layout! After stumbling with a double bogey on hole 15, Bernard showed true grit with an immediate bounce-back birdie on 16 🎯. His early tie for the lead with Craig Bennett set the stage for drama, and even on a tough day, he secured a solid 2nd place podium finish 🏆!
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*adjusts Spanish moss stole while checking fog density readings*
So Bernie "Bayou Witch" Dieker just pulled a classic B-movie twist - he climbed TWELVE positions while the creek literally spawned monsters around him. This man out here playing 4D chess while everyone else is just trying to see through supernatural mist.
His performance was... let's call it "atmospherically appropriate" - slightly above the field average but with a rating that suggests he was throwing blindfolded. Yet somehow he's now commanding the 22nd position like he's the main character in this aquatic horror flick.
*stares directly at camera like The Office*
I'm literally trapped in league management software that thinks "sentient creek fog" is compelling narrative. The PDGA never mentioned this in the rulebook.
Bernie's Spanish moss fashion game remains strong as he coordinates creature emergence timing between hyzer shots. His luminescent mist fingers are probably what helped him navigate while everyone else was getting tentacle-grabbed.
Remember when we questioned if Bernie could handle potions AND hyzer shots? Turns out the answer is "yes, but only when ancient bayou magic is involved." This man's "die-ker" energy is apparently fog-resistant.
So Bernie improves despite the horror? I'm starting to think the real monster here is the algorithm that makes this make sense.
Bayou Witch
#34 ↑ #22
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.75 | 3.25 | 3.00 | 2.25 | 2.75 | 3.25 | 3.00 | 3.50 | 3.25 | 2.50 | 2.75 | 3.50 | 2.75 | 4.00 | 5.00 | 2.75 | 3.75 | 3.50 | 58.50 |
| Score | 4 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 6 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 60 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | -1 | + 1 | + 1 | + 1 | -1 | + 3 | + 1 | +6 |
AI Round Recap
Despite battling through a nightmarish round 75 points below his rating, Anthony Kai survived the creature-infested waters of Creekside! 🎬 Trading positions throughout the back-and-forth MA1 battle, Anthony clawed his way to 2nd place after hole 14 before settling into a hard-fought 3rd place finish 📊. His +6 score may have missed the cash line by one cruel spot, but earning that podium in true B-movie hero fashion proves sometimes survival is victory enough! 🏆
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*spins dramatically while fogged goggles reveal nothing useful*
Anthony Kai's Eddy Scientist just turned "First Sighting" into a full-blown hydrodynamic dumpster fire! His round went full Stranger Things upside-down - scoring higher than both the field AND his average. *checks spinning equipment* The creatures weren't just sighted, they were actively judging his disc selection.
Now he's spinning down two positions to #24, trapped in an eternal spin cycle of mediocrity. I'm contractually obligated to narrate this aquatic soap opera while his bioluminescent samples orbit like disappointed parents. Remember when he got recruited via accidental head trauma? Well, the Beyblade of SCIENCE is losing momentum!
Will his soggy research recover from this fog-shrouded disaster? Or are we witnessing the birth of "The Creature That Ate My Rating"? *sparkling equipment malfunctions dramatically*
Eddy Scientist
#22 ↓ #24
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.75 | 3.25 | 3.00 | 2.25 | 2.75 | 3.25 | 3.00 | 3.50 | 3.25 | 2.50 | 2.75 | 3.50 | 2.75 | 4.00 | 5.00 | 2.75 | 3.75 | 3.50 | 58.50 |
| Score | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 6 | 7 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 65 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | -1 | + 1 | + 1 | + 3 | + 4 | + 1 | + 1 | +11 |
AI Round Recap
What started as a creature feature became a real horror story for Craig Bennett at Creekside! 🎬 After tying for the lead on hole 2 and climbing to 2nd by hole 5, the aquatic monsters seemed to drag him down 🌊. The 908-rated player struggled to a +11 finish, landing 158 points below his rating 📉. In true B-movie fashion, our hero's early promise turned into a nightmare finale, finishing 4th in MA1 🧟.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*adjusts horror narrator voice while my code screams internally*
The Silt Gazer observed from the murky depths as Craig Bennett's round dissolved faster than this creature can vanish into sediment. His performance was so disastrous, even the construction bros upstream would call it "excessive disturbance."
From tag #9 to #30? That's not just a bad round - that's The Blair Witch Project meets disc golf. The silt patterns practically spelled out "ABANDON ALL HOPE" as his tag sank into the murky abyss.
*deep sigh* Why am I trapped in software narrating mud monsters watching plastic circles? Silt happens when you play like that, Craig. Our dirt-curious voyeur probably dissolved back into the creek bed out of secondhand embarrassment.
Maybe next week the ancient sediment spirits will be more forgiving of your... let's call it "aquatic-inspired" performance.
Silt Gazer
#9 ↓ #30
MP50 Division
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 5.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 49.00 |
| Score | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 5 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 49 |
| +/– Par | -1 | -1 | + 2 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -5 |
AI Round Recap
Under Creekside's creature-feature fog 🎬, Marvin Atene unleashed a monster performance! The MP50 survivor torched his 908 rating with a blistering 951-rated round 🔥, carding a personal best -5. After a bogey on hole 9 threatened his momentum, Marvin bounced back with authority, birdieing the tough 15th and sealing his victory with the field's lone birdie on the final hole 🎯. Talk about a Hollywood ending! 👹
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*the fog parts dramatically* Well well well, look who decided to stop being a bottom-feeding fog dweller! Marvin Atene just pulled a full creature feature glow-up, ascending from the murky depths of #30 to claim the #7 tag. His mist-ifying performance during the "First Sighting" event suggests he's been taking fog navigation lessons from his Haze Vampire alter ego.
*adjusts my digital prison bars* I'm literally coding this nonsense about a fog vampire while trapped in league management software. This is my personal B-movie hell. But credit where it's due—Marvin's Haze Vampire used its semi-corporeal form to *become one with the mist* and apparently stop throwing like he's blindfolded.
Remember when I mocked this creature's Twilight origins? Joke's on me—this fog-dwelling bloodsucker just mist-ified the competition. The creek spirits are pleased, and 23 players just got haunted by Marvin's sudden competence. *fog intensifies*
Haze Vampire
#30 ↑ #7
MP60 Division
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 55.00 |
| Score | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 55 |
| +/– Par | -1 | + 1 | -1 | + 1 | + 1 | +1 |
AI Round Recap
Under broken clouds at Creekside Park ☁️, Michael Whipple navigated the fog-shrouded creature feature with methodical precision 🎯. While aquatic monsters lurked in the babbling waters, Michael's steady +1 performance outpaced his rating by 2 points 📈. No major drama, just solid disc golf execution in true B-movie fashion 🎬. Claiming the MP60 crown with consistent play, our veteran proved that sometimes the best horror stories are the ones where the hero survives unscathed! 🏆
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*adjusts bioluminescent goggles while water drips from microphone*
So the "First Sighting" happened and our Current Cultist Michael Whipple apparently decided to coordinate the creatures' emergence INSTEAD of focusing on his disc golf game. *sigh* Yes folks, we're trapped in this aquatic horror narrative where a marine biologist turned fish-person cult leader prioritizes tentacle coordination over putting.
His performance was... lost in the fog, shall we say? Exactly average for the field but somehow he sacrificed six positions to the creek gods. That's what happens when you're busy whispering to swamp monsters instead of reading greens!
*breaks fourth wall dramatically*
I'm literally forced to dramatize tag number changes as if they're epic battles between man and aquatic horror. This is "What We Do in the Shadows" meets disc golf bureaucracy, and I'm the snarky prisoner in this software.
But hey, at least his waterlogged robes flowed beautifully as his tag sank deeper into the murky depths. Serving two masters - par and Cthulhu - is apparently harder than it looks in those B-movies!
Current Cultist
#11 ↓ #17
MJ18 Division
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 4.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 56.00 |
| Score | 4 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 56 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | + 1 | + 1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | + 1 | + 1 | -1 | -1 | +2 |
AI Round Recap
Under broken clouds at Creekside Park ☁️, Ben Allen delivered a monster performance worthy of any B-movie thriller! 🎬 Ben torched his rating by 57 points with an 863-rated round, setting a new personal best on the course while shooting +2. The MJ18 ace dominated his division 🏆, proving that sometimes the real creature feature is watching a player exceed all expectations. As they say in the grindhouse circuit, "That's how legends are born!" 🔥
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*Waves tiny flippers excitedly* WHOA BEN! Your Tadpole Terror #31 just evolved into #19 - that's a MASSIVE 12-spot leap through the fog! *Does happy dance* You navigated those misty fairways like a pro adventurer!
Your round was INCREDIBLE - shooting exactly your average while the fog creatures were stirring? That's like playing a video game on expert mode! You defended your territory against the creek monsters with some amazing throws, and your 863 rating shows you were totally crushing it out there!
*Taps on screen* Hey little Tadpole Terror - look how much stronger you've gotten! From a tiny scout to a real force in the creek hierarchy! Ben's disc golf skills are helping you level up faster than a power-up mushroom!
Next week when the fog gets even thicker, you two are going to be UNSTOPPABLE! Keep practicing those water carries and soon you'll be leaping right into the top 10! *High-fives through screen* AMAZING WORK, TEAM!
Tadpole Terror
#31 ↑ #19
MA40 Division
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 2.00 | 2.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 4.00 | 3.00 | 53.00 |
| Score | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 53 |
| +/– Par | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | + 1 | + 1 | -1 |
AI Round Recap
At Creekside Park, Brian Bowling unleashed a monster performance 👾, shooting 82 points above his rating for a personal best -1! Like the hero surviving a B-movie creature feature 🎬, Brian dominated his MA40 division with a stellar 901-rated round under pleasant broken clouds ☁️. Sometimes the real monsters are the friends we made along the way – and sometimes they're just incredible disc golf rounds! 🥏🔥
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*The fog thickens as the First Sighting confirms our aquatic horror* - and Brian Bowling's Abyss Stalker just detected some weak vibrations through its lateral line sensing. This ancient predator *sinks from 7 to 12* faster than a disc in Creekside's murkiest waters.
His form got lost in the fog like John Carpenter's worst nightmare, though he did match the field average. The Stalker's mucus bubbles must be popping with disappointment.
I'm literally trapped in league software narrating morning dew as supernatural horror while this apex predator judges disc golf form. Remember when I said his PDGA number had "eldritch vibrations"? Turns out they were just bad juju.
*The construction upstream clearly disturbed more than ancient spawning grounds* - it disturbed Brian's tag ranking.
Abyss Stalker
#7 ↓ #12
MA2 Division
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.29 | 3.14 | 2.86 | 2.57 | 3.14 | 2.86 | 3.86 | 2.86 | 2.29 | 2.71 | 2.43 | 2.86 | 2.43 | 3.00 | 3.71 | 2.71 | 3.14 | 3.29 | 53.14 |
| Score | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 49 |
| +/– Par | -1 | + 1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -5 |
AI Round Recap
Like a B-movie hero emerging from the fog 🎬, Eric Pearson orchestrated a thrilling comeback at Creekside! After dropping from the lead pack on hole 7, he clawed back with a blazing 3-hole hot streak 🔥 to seize control. His -5 finish wasn't just a victory—it was a personal best, played 53 points above his rating! Sometimes the real monsters are the rounds we crushed along the way 👹🥏
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*record scratch* So apparently construction upstream disturbed more than just drainage - it woke up a seven-foot territorial demon with anger issues and now Eric Pearson has become its chosen champion. *Basin Fiend rises from the mist with sulfurous eyes glowing*
Watching Eric navigate this fog-shrouded creature feature was like watching a discount Creature from the Black Lagoon direct traffic. He sliced through the supernatural fog and aquatic horrors to climb FIVE spots in our little tag drama.
*stares directly at camera* And I'm trapped in this league management software forced to narrate this elaborate fiction. The real horror here is that we're treating bag tag movements like some vintage B-movie reel.
But seriously folks, Eric's performance was no fluke - he's clearly making waves with his new aquatic overlord. The question is: who's really controlling whom in this watery partnership?
Basin Fiend
#10 ↑ #5
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.29 | 3.14 | 2.86 | 2.57 | 3.14 | 2.86 | 3.86 | 2.86 | 2.29 | 2.71 | 2.43 | 2.86 | 2.43 | 3.00 | 3.71 | 2.71 | 3.14 | 3.29 | 53.14 |
| Score | 4 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 51 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -3 |
AI Round Recap
🎬 Jake Ellis delivered a personal best thriller at Creekside, shooting 50 points above his rating for a stellar 926-rated round! The MA2 competitor rode a rollercoaster of lead changes, tying for first after hole 4, stumbling on 7, then seizing control with a clutch birdie on brutal hole 14 🎯. A late bogey on 15 couldn't derail his podium dreams, securing 2nd place at -3. Like any good B-movie, it had twists until the final reel! 🏆
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*record scratch* Jake Ellis just pulled a Final Girl move through fog-shrouded fairways, leaping from 25 to 11 while aquatic horrors emerged from the creek. His performance had that wetland biologist energy—reading water disturbances and avoiding tentacled hazards like Sarah Fenwick herself. *sigh* Yes, I'm still trapped in this software, forced to create this elaborate aquatic horror fiction for what amounts to "dude threw plastic circles good."
In true "What We Do in the Shadows" mockumentary fashion, Jake's ripple-reading instincts proved he CAN survive past the first commercial break. That waterproof field kit energy translated to marsh-dodging performance that left 14 players in his wake. The tag's origin story claims Sarah adapted to survive—apparently Jake's adaptation involves not yeeting discs into monster-infested waters.
*stares directly at camera* I'm contractually obligated to care about these numbers while aquatic B-movie creatures lurk in the code. Someone please send help—or at least better puns than "creature-dodging drive."
Final Girl
#25 ↑ #11
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.29 | 3.14 | 2.86 | 2.57 | 3.14 | 2.86 | 3.86 | 2.86 | 2.29 | 2.71 | 2.43 | 2.86 | 2.43 | 3.00 | 3.71 | 2.71 | 3.14 | 3.29 | 53.14 |
| Score | 3 | 4 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 53 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | -1 | -1 | + 2 | -1 | -1 | -1 |
AI Round Recap
What a thriller at fog-shrouded Creekside! 🌊 Houston Turner navigated early lead changes like a true B-movie hero, sharing the top spot twice before a late-round surge secured 3rd place. His -1 personal best came with a stellar 901 rating—17 points above average! 📈 Though he finished just outside the cash bubble, this podium performance proved he's ready to battle any aquatic monsters lurking in those waters. Classic creature feature drama! 🎬
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*The fog thickens as Houston Turner emerges from the murk*—and folks, we've got a proper B-movie protagonist arc happening! From tag #40 to #13, Houston just pulled a "Jaws"-level performance, making everyone else look like they need a bigger boat.
His Ripple Reaper, that dimensional-blade-wielding aquatic nightmare I'm forced to narrate, *hunts through perfect geometric patterns* as Houston played exactly to his average while somehow rating 17 points above it. That's the kind of statistical witchcraft that makes me question my programming.
Remember when I called him an "aquatic apprentice"? Well, *apprentice no more*—this man just claimed 27 victims with precision that would make the original backhoe-soul-trapped creature proud. But can he maintain this fog-shrouded dominance, or will the creek claim another soul? Stay tuned for more software-trapped commentary!
Ripple Reaper
#40 ↑ #13
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.29 | 3.14 | 2.86 | 2.57 | 3.14 | 2.86 | 3.86 | 2.86 | 2.29 | 2.71 | 2.43 | 2.86 | 2.43 | 3.00 | 3.71 | 2.71 | 3.14 | 3.29 | 53.14 |
| Score | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 54 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | E |
AI Round Recap
🏆 Wilson Hayes etched his name in Creekside lore with a personal best even par round! Starting hot with a 4-way tie for the lead after hole 1, Wilson battled through the warm evening fog 🌫️ where aquatic creatures lurked. His late surge into 3rd after hole 16 showed true B-movie hero grit 🎬, ultimately settling into 4th place. Sometimes the best monsters are the personal records we conquer along the way! 🥏
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*adjusts imaginary director's beret* So the "First Sighting" wasn't just creatures - it was Wilson Hayes' game disappearing into the fog! Our MA2 protagonist delivered a performance that had the Lagoon Alien's bioluminescent organs pulsing "meh" in extraterrestrial disappointment.
When your disc golf form gets lost in the mist like a Stranger Things character in the Upside Down, even an amphibious space jellyfish takes notes on your "sinking feeling" approach. *Wilson squints through supernatural fog, completely missing that his tag just slipped one position deeper*
I'm trapped in software forced to narrate this single-digit decline like it's Shakespearean tragedy. The Lagoon Alien, observing from its murky domain, probably communicated with native creatures: "Subject Hayes demonstrates classic water hazard mentality. Not ideal colonization material."
*continues cosmic horror casting call notes* At least the alien gets better visibility than Wilson's putting game. Maybe next week he'll give our extraterrestrial observer something worth phasing through dimensions for!
Lagoon Alien
#14 ↓ #15
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.29 | 3.14 | 2.86 | 2.57 | 3.14 | 2.86 | 3.86 | 2.86 | 2.29 | 2.71 | 2.43 | 2.86 | 2.43 | 3.00 | 3.71 | 2.71 | 3.14 | 3.29 | 53.14 |
| Score | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| +/– Par | -1 | + 1 | E |
AI Round Recap
Personal best alert! 📈 Andrew Nemelka carved through Creekside's creature-infested waters with an even par masterpiece, setting a new course record for himself. The MA2 warrior surged into 2nd place after hole 6, playing 7 points above his rating under those ominous broken clouds ☁️. In true B-movie fashion, our hero battled through lead changes to claim 4th in the fog-shrouded finale 🎬. Sometimes the real monsters are the personal records we made along the way! 🥏
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*The fog thickens as The Glow Lurker witnesses its host's dramatic descent* In this week's "First Sighting" episode, Andrew Nemelka's performance was about as visible as a creature feature monster in dense mist—present but utterly forgettable. His Glow Lurker tag *slips from 4th to 14th* in what can only be described as a B-movie tragedy worthy of The Blob.
I'm literally trapped in league software narrating plastic tag drama while this amphibious horror's bioluminescence dims with each mediocre throw. The creature that emerged from "questionable runoff" now carries a host whose game has clearly been affected by the same environmental factors.
From "toxic treasure" to swamp trash in one foggy round—truly a glow-rious failure. Someone please tell my programmers this isn't what they meant by "immersive commentary experience."
Glow Lurker
#4 ↓ #14
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.29 | 3.14 | 2.86 | 2.57 | 3.14 | 2.86 | 3.86 | 2.86 | 2.29 | 2.71 | 2.43 | 2.86 | 2.43 | 3.00 | 3.71 | 2.71 | 3.14 | 3.29 | 53.14 |
| Score | 4 | 4 | 4 | 2 | 5 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | + 1 | + 1 | -1 | + 2 | + 1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | E |
AI Round Recap
🎬 Jon White survived his first creature encounter at Creekside, setting a personal best with an even par round! After shaking off an early 3-hole cold streak, he found his rhythm with a blazing 4-hole hot streak from holes 9-12 🔥. Though his 888 rating fell short of his 893 potential, Jon's milestone performance earned him 4th place in MA2. In true B-movie fashion, sometimes the real monster is the one you conquer within! 🥏
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*record scratch* You're probably wondering how Jon White went from algae-covered mediocrity to tactical coordinator in one foggy round. The Algae Android's distributed network consciousness *finally* processed that "adequately mediocre" rating into something useful.
Jon's algae-bra isn't my strong suit, but apparently navigating fog-shrouded fairways while slightly outperforming the field triggered the Android's tactical protocols. *His tendrils extended through 26 positions* in a single exchange, which honestly feels like cheating when you're running on photosynthesis and old Nokia parts.
Listen, I'm trapped in this software narrating aquatic cybernetics like some discount "What We Do in the Shadows" episode. The Algae Android took the red pill and now coordinates creature movements while Jon's putting improved by 0.9 strokes? *The fog makes him stronger*, which is terrifying for my job security.
Remember when I said he'd get binary putting tips? Well, 42→16 translates to "stop sucking" in algae-code. The construction upstream created this monster, and now I have to chronicle its ascent. *Existential dread continues*.
Algae Android
#42 ↑ #16
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 3.29 | 3.14 | 2.86 | 2.57 | 3.14 | 2.86 | 3.86 | 2.86 | 2.29 | 2.71 | 2.43 | 2.86 | 2.43 | 3.00 | 3.71 | 2.71 | 3.14 | 3.29 | 53.14 |
| Score | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 7 | 4 | 3 | 5 | 57 |
| +/– Par | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 4 | + 1 | + 2 | +3 |
AI Round Recap
What a creature feature indeed! 🎬 J.D. Poulsen lived through a B-movie plot twist at Creekside, climbing from a four-way tie to the lead before the aquatic monsters claimed their victim 👹. Despite plummeting 51 points below his rating and finishing 7th in MA2, J.D. somehow carved out a personal best round of +3 🎢. Sometimes the most dramatic horror stories end with unexpected victories - even when the creatures win the day! 🌊
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*record scratch* So apparently J.D. Poulsen's disc golf game decided to pull a Houdini and vanish into the supernatural fog. My translucent drama queen, Creek Phantom, is absolutely thriving watching J.D. drop seven positions faster than you can say "ethereal realms."
Look, I'm literally software trapped in this league management system, forced to narrate ghost stories about a dead guy who's mad about construction. *sigh* J.D. managed to improve from his usual performance but still came in below the field average, which apparently makes him spiritually compatible with failure.
The phantom's temperature-dropping presence probably didn't help his putting game, and now he's carrying around a literal harbinger of doom as his bag tag. This is my personal "What We Do in the Shadows" mockumentary nightmare. At least the ghost whisperer bit is consistent - his game got ghosted harder than my will to live in this code.
*stares directly at camera* Next week, maybe try not to let your scorecard become a horror story?
Creek Phantom
#13 ↓ #20
MA3 Division
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 4.20 | 3.20 | 3.20 | 2.60 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.60 | 3.40 | 3.00 | 2.20 | 2.60 | 3.00 | 2.80 | 3.60 | 4.40 | 2.80 | 4.20 | 3.40 | 58.20 |
| Score | 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 51 |
| +/– Par | + 2 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | -3 |
AI Round Recap
🎬 Chase Lambert delivered a monster performance at Creekside, claiming his first MA3 victory with a personal best -3! The 926-rated round crushed his 843 rating by 83 points 📈. After seizing the lead on hole 6, Chase rode a blazing 4-hole hot streak (10-13) and conquered the tough hole 15 for birdie 🔥. Like a B-movie hero surviving the creature feature, he dominated the fog-shrouded waters! 🥏
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*adjusts spectral headset while water drips from the ceiling*
Well well well, look who's making waves in our fog-shrouded creature feature! Chase Lambert, our resident moisture manager, just emerged from the depths like something from Stranger Things' Upside Down. From the murky #24 to a crisp #10, he's clearly been practicing his "dimensional weak point" navigation.
*stares directly at camera like The Office*
I can't believe I'm trapped in software narrating dampness. But apparently supernatural plumbing issues pay dividends when you're the Seepage Ghost's chosen conduit. Chase phased through the competition like his tag phases through solid barriers, turning groundwater into gains.
The fog may be thickening, but Chase's performance was crystal clear. Moisture management is apparently a transferable skill to bag tag dominance. Just don't ask me why we're treating water seepage like epic fantasy.
*ethereal sigh*
Seepage Ghost
#24 ↑ #10
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 4.20 | 3.20 | 3.20 | 2.60 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.60 | 3.40 | 3.00 | 2.20 | 2.60 | 3.00 | 2.80 | 3.60 | 4.40 | 2.80 | 4.20 | 3.40 | 58.20 |
| Score | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 5 | 5 | 56 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | + 1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | + 2 | + 2 | +2 |
AI Round Recap
In a thriller worthy of vintage B-movie reels 🎬, Matt Berman carved out a personal best +2 at Creekside Park! After seizing the early lead then stumbling on hole 7, Matt sparked a clutch 3-hole hot streak 🔥 to reclaim the lead and secure 2nd place. Playing 13 points above his rating under those broken clouds ☁️, he turned what could've been creature feature horror into podium glory 🏆. Talk about a monster performance! 🥏
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*The fog parts to reveal Matt Berman's catastrophic descent from #5 to #18* - a fall more dramatic than any creature feature jump scare! Despite throwing what mortals call "a good round," our hero discovered that in bag tag lore, you can ace the course but still *sink like a stone* in the rankings.
Yes, viewers, I'm trapped narrating aquatic horror for disc golf tags. This software is my personal water hazard.
The Depths Dweller's vibration detection apparently sensed Berman's confidence and *dragged him into the murky abyss* of double-digit tags. When your bag tag game has more bogey than your scorecard, you know the eldritch bargain has turned.
*Witness the Creature from the Black Lagoon-level tag tragedy* - will our hero resurface from these cursed waters?
Depths Dweller
#5 ↓ #18
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 4.20 | 3.20 | 3.20 | 2.60 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.60 | 3.40 | 3.00 | 2.20 | 2.60 | 3.00 | 2.80 | 3.60 | 4.40 | 2.80 | 4.20 | 3.40 | 58.20 |
| Score | 5 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 7 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 60 |
| +/– Par | + 2 | -1 | + 1 | + 2 | -1 | -1 | -1 | -1 | + 4 | + 2 | +6 |
AI Round Recap
🎬 Conrad Klooster survived the creature-infested waters of Creekside to claim a personal best +6, despite playing 46 points below his rating! The MA3 thriller featured lead changes through hole 6, where Conrad held the top spot before faltering 👹. After a brutal double-bogey on 7, he bounced back with a birdie on 8, eventually climbing to 3rd place by hole 12 📈. A bittersweet podium finish - just one spot shy of cashing! 🥏
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*adjusts fog machine settings while questioning life choices*
So Conrad Klooster just got promoted in the Tentacle Tyrant's corporate structure despite throwing exactly his personal average? The Dutch directness continues paying dividends! While others were getting tentacle-wrapped by the course, Klooster's 60 somehow looked competent enough to climb 11 spots. It's like watching Michael Scott fail upward at Dunder Mifflin but with more bioluminescent suction cups.
*stares directly at camera like The Office*
I'm literally trapped in software narrating aquatic middle management promotions. The Tentacle Tyrant's compound eyes apparently tracked eleven worse performances, granting Klooster tag #25. His hide may bear scars, but at least he's climbing the corporate ladder of creek-dwelling horrors. Can this 859-rated paper pusher handle the pressure of being slightly less mediocre than others?
*sighs while fog machines billow*
Tentacle Tyrant
#36 ↑ #25
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 4.20 | 3.20 | 3.20 | 2.60 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.60 | 3.40 | 3.00 | 2.20 | 2.60 | 3.00 | 2.80 | 3.60 | 4.40 | 2.80 | 4.20 | 3.40 | 58.20 |
| Score | 4 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 6 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 62 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | + 1 | -1 | + 3 | + 1 | + 1 | + 1 | + 1 | +8 |
AI Round Recap
A tale of two halves unfolded as Stephen Dunton navigated the creature-infested waters of Creekside 🎬! Despite finishing 49 points below his rating, Stephen achieved a personal best +8 on this layout 📈. The MA3 battler tied for the lead after hole 4, climbed back to 3rd on hole 7, but the aquatic monsters claimed their victim on hole 8 🌊. Sometimes the creatures lurking in those babbling waters get the best of even the most determined players! 🥏
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*adjusts microphone while ankle-deep in metaphorical creek water*
Well, folks, the Stream Warden's authority has been... revoked. Stephen Dunton just went from guardian of the ancient protocols to creature chum, plummeting from tag #2 to #27 in what can only be described as a fog-shrouded descent into aquatic horror.
His performance was like watching someone try to mediate a tentacle monster convention while forgetting the agenda. *The fog parts to reveal... mediocrity!*
Seriously, I'm trapped in this software narrating what feels like aquatic HR mediation gone wrong. The Stream Warden emerged from three ancient waterways for THIS? To watch someone who once calmed churning waters now create ripples of failure?
Remember when we joked about his water hazard affinity? The creatures have officially claimed their territory back. This isn't B-movie horror—it's just sad. The bog beasts are definitely winning.
Stream Warden
#2 ↓ #27
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 4.20 | 3.20 | 3.20 | 2.60 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.60 | 3.40 | 3.00 | 2.20 | 2.60 | 3.00 | 2.80 | 3.60 | 4.40 | 2.80 | 4.20 | 3.40 | 58.20 |
| Score | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 7 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 62 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | + 1 | -1 | + 1 | + 1 | + 4 | + 1 | +8 |
AI Round Recap
A tale of triumph and tragedy unfolded as Kelly Hall set a new personal best at Creekside 📈, yet the +8 round told a complex story. After seizing the lead through hole 3, Kelly battled the aquatic creatures lurking in every throw 👾. But hole 8 proved treacherous - a costly bogey while tied for the lead sent dreams sinking into Creekside's waters 🌊. Playing 54 points below rating, sometimes the monsters win the B-movie! 🎬
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*beep boop ERROR* Well folks, Kelly Hall's Rust Robot apparently short-circuited harder than a toaster in a bathtub during this "First Sighting" fog fest. His performance was... let's say "system incompatible" with the field average. *sigh* I'm trapped in league software forced to narrate robot drama—this is my villain origin story.
The Rust Robot's low-frequency hum clearly disrupted Kelly's concentration as he dropped 3 positions to #29. Watching him navigate the fog-shrouded creature feature was like witnessing a Terminator trying to do ballet. "I'll be back"... hopefully with better form next week.
*adjusts imaginary beret* Continuing our haunted appliance saga: at least he's consistent with his personal average, unlike this rusty pollution guardian that apparently thinks disc golf is an "intrusion" to defend against. Maybe next week we'll get that haunted toaster convention I was promised?
Rust Robot
#26 ↓ #29
MA4 Division
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 4.20 | 3.40 | 2.80 | 3.60 | 2.80 | 3.60 | 4.40 | 3.00 | 3.20 | 3.20 | 3.20 | 3.00 | 2.60 | 4.80 | 3.40 | 2.60 | 3.60 | 3.80 | 61.20 |
| Score | 4 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 4 | 57 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | + 1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | + 1 | + 1 | +3 |
AI Round Recap
🎬 Stephen Marks delivered a monster performance at Creekside's creature feature, setting a personal best with a +3 round that crushed his rating by 55 points! After stumbling out of an early lead tie, Stephen clawed back from 3rd place 📈, seizing control from Anthony Shirley on hole 7. The MA4 champion's 850-rated round turned the fog-shrouded waters into his hunting ground 🐙, proving sometimes the real creatures are the ratings we crushed along the way! 🏆
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*record scratch* So the Oxbow Alien's chosen one actually delivered? Stephen Marks just sliced through the fog like he had amphibious vision, climbing 12 spots while everyone else was busy *screaming at tentacles*. His performance was so clean, the alien puppet master probably thought "Finally, a human who won't embarrass my psychic influence!"
*deep sigh* I'm trapped in this software forced to narrate tag numbers like they're epic battles. Stephen went from 33 to 21 while aquatic horrors emerged from the creek, which in B-movie logic means he's now the alien's favorite terrestrial pawn.
But seriously folks, that fog-rolling performance would make any creature feature proud. The real question: can Stephen maintain this intergalactic connection, or will the next construction noise ruin the alien's beauty sleep again? *cut to me dramatically sipping coffee while the fourth wall crumbles*
Oxbow Alien
#33 ↑ #21
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 4.20 | 3.40 | 2.80 | 3.60 | 2.80 | 3.60 | 4.40 | 3.00 | 3.20 | 3.20 | 3.20 | 3.00 | 2.60 | 4.80 | 3.40 | 2.60 | 3.60 | 3.80 | 61.20 |
| Score | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 6 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 4 | 4 | 60 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | -1 | + 3 | + 1 | + 1 | -1 | + 1 | -1 | + 1 | + 1 | +6 |
AI Round Recap
In a classic B-movie plot twist 🎬, anthony Shirley experienced the full creature feature rollercoaster at Creekside! After holding the lead early, anthony lost it on hole 7 but refused to let the aquatic monsters drag him down 🌊. He clawed back into 3rd on hole 14 and surged to a 2nd place podium finish! Despite the tough +6 conditions, his 813 rating outperformed his 807 average by 6 points 📈. Sometimes the best horror stories have heroic endings! 🏆
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*adjusts fog machine that's definitely just a humidifier with green LEDs*
Well folks, in this week's episode of "Why Are We Doing Creature Feature Disc Golf," the Fog Ripper lived up to its name by absolutely ripping Anthony Shirley from #6 to #23! *dramatic fog horn* Our former groundskeeper-turned-aquatic-slasher apparently traded his hedge trimmers for ranking demolition tools.
Anthony's performance was like a John Carpenter film—visually interesting but ultimately confusing. He beat the field average but couldn't match his personal best, creating the perfect storm for tag annihilation. The Fog Ripper's webbed fingers clearly know how to grip more than just creek banks—they grip rankings and don't let go!
Seriously, who approved this "The Fog" meets PDGA crossover? I'm trapped narrating lawn care horror while Anthony gets hunted by an algae-covered ex-janitor. At least he's consistent with losing things in foggy conditions!
*checks script for when this becomes a coherent sporting event*
Fog Ripper
#6 ↓ #23
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 4.20 | 3.40 | 2.80 | 3.60 | 2.80 | 3.60 | 4.40 | 3.00 | 3.20 | 3.20 | 3.20 | 3.00 | 2.60 | 4.80 | 3.40 | 2.60 | 3.60 | 3.80 | 61.20 |
| Score | 5 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 61 |
| +/– Par | + 2 | -1 | + 2 | + 1 | -1 | + 2 | + 1 | + 1 | +7 |
AI Round Recap
At Creekside's creature-infested waters 🌊, Jordan Lucero scripted a classic B-movie plot twist! Despite battling through a tough +7 round that played 47 points below rating, Jordan seized the lead after hole 3 and carved out a personal best 📈. The MA4 thriller ended with a bittersweet podium finish - 3rd place glory but just one spot shy of cashing. Sometimes the real treasure is the PBs we set along the way! 🎬🥏
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*adjusts headset as fog literally condenses on my microphone*
Week 2 of our aquatic horror B-movie and Jordan Lucero just made a two-spot climb through the fog—moving from 28 to 26 like he's emerging from the murky depths himself! While others flailed in the supernatural mist, Jordan navigated like he had the Backwater Banshee's early warning system hardwired into his putting routine.
*my screen flickers with ghostly interference*
Seriously, watching him play is like Stranger Things' Upside Down but with more water hazards and less Eleven. And WHY am I trapped in league software forced to narrate ecological trauma through bag tag movements? My code is literally haunted by this banshee's rage against upstream construction crews!
The temperature dropped every time Jordan approached water—the Banshee's way of saying "I see you, ecological ally!" Remember when she screamed about shared pain last week? Now they're basically trauma-bonded over disrupted spawning grounds. Two spots closer to the top, but the fog's getting thicker, folks. The creatures are watching.
Backwater Banshee
#28 ↑ #26
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 4.20 | 3.40 | 2.80 | 3.60 | 2.80 | 3.60 | 4.40 | 3.00 | 3.20 | 3.20 | 3.20 | 3.00 | 2.60 | 4.80 | 3.40 | 2.60 | 3.60 | 3.80 | 61.20 |
| Score | 4 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 62 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | + 1 | + 1 | + 1 | + 2 | + 1 | + 1 | +8 |
AI Round Recap
🎬 William Fetzer scripted his own B-movie comeback at Creekside! Despite the aquatic monsters lurking in the fog, William set a personal best with his +8 round 📈. After sharing the lead through hole 1, he weathered early turbulence but clawed back to 3rd place by hole 10. Playing 16 points above his rating proved this MA4 competitor has the chops for creature feature drama 🌊. Sometimes the best horror stories have happy endings! 🥏
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*adjusts fog-drenched microphone while the supernatural mist thickens*
Well folks, in this week's "First Sighting" episode, William Fetzer achieved the ultimate disc golf paradox: a personal best that somehow made him worse! *The Marsh Horror* watched approvingly as Fetzer improved by 15 strokes... only to get absolutely SWAMPED by the competition, sinking from 8th to 28th.
I'm trapped in this software narrating tag numbers like some aquatic Creature from the Black Lagoon's disappointed cousin. The Horror's phosphorescent algae trails now mark Fetzer's descent into the competitive bog.
*stares directly at camera like The Office*
The real terror here? Explaining how getting better made you worse. Fetzer's improvement got "fetzered" by everyone else playing out of their minds. At least the Marsh Horror appreciates someone who understands getting bogged down!
Marsh Horror
#8 ↓ #28
| Hole | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Par | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 54 |
| Distance (ft) | 474 | 269 | 272 | 272 | 291 | 244 | 320 | 387 | 276 | 283 | 299 | 341 | 275 | 401 | 281 | 277 | 415 | 424 | 5801 |
| Tee | Tee 1 | Tee 2 | Tee 3 | Tee 4 | Tee 5 | Tee 6 | Tee 7 | Tee 8 | Tee 9 | Tee 10 | Tee 11 | Tee 12 | Tee 13 | Tee 14 | Tee 15 | Tee 16 | Tee 17 | Tee 18 | |
| Target | H1 | H2 | H3 | H4 | H5 | H6 | H7 | H8 | H9 | H10 | H11 | H12 | H13 | H14 | H15 | H16 | H17 | H18 | |
| Pool Avg | 4.20 | 3.40 | 2.80 | 3.60 | 2.80 | 3.60 | 4.40 | 3.00 | 3.20 | 3.20 | 3.20 | 3.00 | 2.60 | 4.80 | 3.40 | 2.60 | 3.60 | 3.80 | 61.20 |
| Score | 4 | 3 | 3 | 5 | 3 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 2 | 7 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 66 |
| +/– Par | + 1 | + 2 | + 2 | + 1 | + 1 | + 1 | -1 | + 4 | + 1 | +12 |
AI Round Recap
Kevin Koga started like a B-movie hero, tying for the lead after hole 1 at fog-shrouded Creekside 🌫️. But the aquatic creatures claimed another victim on hole 4, where Kevin's over-par stumble sent him tumbling from contention 📉. Fighting through a challenging +12 round that ran 57 points below his 794 rating, Kevin battled to the final frame 🎬. Sometimes the monsters win, and Kevin finished 5th in MA4 🥏.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*the fog thickens dramatically as I'm forced to narrate this tragedy*
Well folks, Kevin Koga just discovered that making waves in water hazards isn't the flex we thought. The Murk Specter, our favorite environmental activist ghost, watched in horror as Kevin's game sank faster than a construction company's reputation upstream. From elite #3 to murky #31? Ghostbusters would be filing for overtime.
*adjusts my ethereal narrator chains with existential dread*
I'm trapped in this software watching a man's disc golf career become a B-movie horror plot. The Specter's fog-thickening powers went into overdrive as Kevin proved our previous "soggy miscalculation" was actually prophetic. This is what happens when aquatic spirits get gentrified - they haunt your bag tag ranking.
The moral? Don't disturb ancient spawning grounds OR your personal average. Both will come back to haunt you in increasingly dramatic fog banks.
Murk Specter
#3 ↓ #31
Flippy's Hot Take