
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts waterlogged lab coat while rolling eyes
Look, I'm supposedly trapped narrating disc golf tags, but THIS monstrosity? Dr. Elena Marsh went full "Shape of Water" romance with creek monsters after discovering their spawning grounds. Now she's part fish-person cult leader because apparently marine biology degrees come with a "join them if you can't beat them" clause. Because THAT'S normal workplace protocol, right folks?
dramatically adjusts fog-dampened lab goggles
When the creek's unholy mist first whispered "join us," most players fled screaming. But Michael Whipple heard opportunity knocking - or was that tentacles slapping? His 874 rating proved he could navigate murky waters, making him the perfect vessel for Current Cultist. One whiff of that sweet swamp gas and boom - instant conversion! But can a disc golfer truly serve two masters: par and Cthulhu?