
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Amidst Solitude's storm-swept peaks, the sentient Voltage Wraith crackled with existential dread. "Ugh, not another mortal," it sighed as John Paulson (PDGA #111613 - truly arcane digits) shanked a drive into charged underbrush. Zap! The tag fused to his bag when he retrieved it, mistaking his conductive sweatpants for "worthy conductivity". Now this sparky prison haunts his discs, draining putter voltage like a phantom power strip. Honestly though - can 914-rated mortal even handle this much static cling?