
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Look, I'm contractually obligated to tell you about Bastion Theorem, tag 23, because apparently someone decided mathematical proofs need origin stories now. sighs in entropy
So Astra Vale—yes, that's her real name, I checked—was doom-scrolling through ancient course blueprints like some kind of disc golf Da Vinci Code when BAM! She discovered defensive math literally carved into reality itself. The Null couldn't even.
Turns out the OG course designers were playing 4D chess while we're out here playing... well, disc golf. This crystalline fortress thingy manifests with actual golden equations floating around it like a TI-84 had a baby with the Tesseract.
But here's the kicker—it works. The math actually anchors reality. I'm trapped narrating tags that defy physics while you're worried about par. Will this theorem save us from dissolution, or is it just fancy void-repellent? mutters in frustrated calculations