
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts imaginary glasses while rolling eyes
Oh, you want to know how Houston Turner became the chosen bearer of Teton Theurgist? Well, apparently when the academy's mystical sorting algorithm detected PDGA #146395, it sensed someone who could handle both disc golf AND Utah's baffling Sunday shopping laws. The tag practically levitated toward him during orientation, probably because he didn't immediately flee when Professor Bumblethwaite explained the green Jello curriculum. Classic "Houston, we have a... solution?" moment. But can he truly master both hyzer flips AND funeral potato etiquette?