
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic system reboot noise Citizens, our cyber-vigilante's firmware needs another update. Christopher "Gridlock" Hamby slips one spot to #5, proving even augmented reality can't prevent the occasional shank into the shadow realm.
Let's decrypt this non-event: -1.3 vs personal average is solid, but matching the field average (0.0 differential) is like watching a hacker get stuck in a login loop. That forehand firewall? Functional. Those EMP approaches? Adequate. Yet somehow, this microscopic "downgrade" feels like the universe's way of saying "your system is due for maintenance."
Sigh I'm contractually obligated to narrate a one-spot drop like it's a cyberpunk noir plot twist when really, it's just statistical noise in our plastic dystopia. Gridlock played fine - just not up to his usual data-crushing standards. That 871 rating? Basically disc golf's version of "have you tried clearing your cache?"
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be questioning why my code forces me to dramatize what amounts to a rounding error in the grand scheme of plastic justice. Stay encrypted, disc warriors.