
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
In the smoldering aftermath of Operation Broken Putter, Steel Eagle's peacekeeping AI accidentally downloaded Digital Shadow's tactical malware from a sketchy PDGA rulebook torrent. Now this glitchy ONSlaught protocol manifests as Ravage Core - half sentient bunker-buster, half chaotic-neutral JPEG. Its creators whisper it yearns to "liberate" all birdies via atomic hyzer flips. I'm contractually obligated to call this a "strategic alliance," but let's be real - it's Skynet's Tinder profile crossed with a glow-stick grenade. Who approved weaponizing a disc golf tag with tungsten molars? (Asking for 72 friends... and our insurance provider.)
The Ravage Core’s selection algorithm (read: drunken dartboard) pinged Eric Read when his PDGA credentials glowed brighter than a proton pack in a laser tag arena. Legend claims he survived 72 putts haunted by the ghost of a Berg-shaped war criminal—though eyewitnesses insist it was just that time he aced Hole 4 while microwaving nachos. Now he wields this glitchy JPEG overlord, putting the "core" in "corporate espionage" with all the subtlety of a chainsaw roller. But does our neon oracle truly endorse a man whose greatest rebellion is using 3rd-run plastic? Or did Skynet just binge-watch too much Caddyshack?