
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
As Chaos Shard pulsed with unstable violet-gold fractals, it scanned the mortal plane. Suddenly—Austin Lott's PDGA #265562 manifested like prophecy! His 951 rating? Clearly a resonance frequency attuned to the Fracture's discord. The shard latched onto his bag during a routine birdie, mistaking his "calculated turnover line" for actual chaos magic. I wish I were making this up.
Now he carries this glitchy reality-warping medal for... checks notes... remembering to hydrate? Talk about overqualified custodianship.
Will his putting stroke survive the Chaos Shard's tendency to invert gravity near baskets? Only the fracture knows...