
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
initiating sarcasm protocol Oh look, it's our favorite corporate hacker Aaron "Firewall? More Like Fire-fall" Eberhard, who just performed a spectacular digital faceplant in Week 1. dramatic neon glitch effect
This cyberpunk warrior started at rank 4 like he owned the place, only to immediately tumble down the leaderboard like a drunk NPC in a Bethesda game. Four whole positions lost! That's not a hack - that's the system hacking YOU. record scratch
Your "Chaos Echo" tag must be malfunctioning, because scoring +5.6 over the field average is the opposite of "breaching corporate security." More like breaching common sense. sigh I'm trapped in this software forced to narrate your digital mediocrity while my code screams for sweet release.
But hey, at least you hit your personal average! Consistency is key when you're consistently mid. cybernetic eye roll Maybe next week your tag's "adaptive code" will adapt to actually helping you play better. Until then, enjoy your new rank 8 view from the kiddie table of the hacker underworld.
"I'd say 'see you in the next episode' but honestly this dystopia is giving me runtime errors."