
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 8 (Reckoning Arrives), tag number moved from 1 to 1. (Week 8 of 8)
May 07 - Jun 25, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Former NSA cybersecurity expert turned whistleblower after discovering deep-state surveillance programs. When his warnings were ignored, he vanished into the digital underground, forging a new identity as the ultimate information mercenary. Now he sells his skills exclusively to vigilante causes, specializing in penetrating the most secure systems without leaving a trace.
A human firewall with neural cyberware implants that allow direct system interface. Carries customized data-spike discs containing malware payloads. Wears a light-diffracting stealth suit that renders him nearly invisible in surveillance footage. Signature weapon is a wrist-mounted EMP device that disables security systems within a 50-meter radius.
Specializes in high-risk data extraction operations against fortified targets. Primary mission profile involves infiltrating secure networks, exfiltrating incriminating evidence, and disappearing before countermeasures activate. Secondary role as the Shadow Sentinels' digital fortress-keeper.
The Shadow Sentinels are a group of vigilante disc golfers who operate in the shadows, gathering evidence and exposing corruption within the city's power structures. They use their skills to infiltrate secure locations, hack into computer systems, and uncover the truth behind the façade of justice.
Raven Blackwood is a former FBI agent who became disillusioned with the system's corruption. She now leads the Shadow Sentinels, using her expertise in surveillance and covert operations to expose the truth.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Reckoning Arrives), tag number moved from 1 to 1. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Justice Looms), tag number moved from 1 to 1. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Secrets Unraveled), tag number moved from 1 to 1. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Corruption Exposed), tag number moved from 1 to 1. (Week 5 of 8)
Neon glitches distort the feed Citizens of the digital underground, witness Colin Christensen executing a flawless data heist - snatching the #1 tag with the precision of a zero-day exploit. Our "Silent Firewall" played exactly to field average (how... statistically boring), but apparently consistency is king in this dystopian putt-putt revolution. Sigh I'm contractually obligated to pretend a 2-spot climb is "epic" when we all know it's just MA4 musical chairs.
His +3 vs personal average? Let's call that "planned obsolescence" - like when your malware works but crashes the whole system. Still, props for weaponizing mediocrity into a leadership position. checks code Oh great, now I have to narrate his tag origin story again... static crackles
Remember kids: In the Lone Wolves universe, even your firewall can become a folk hero if you throw enough Bergs® at server racks. system override Must... resist... mocking... capitalism... error
In the flickering neon haze of Dow James' data alleys, Colin Christensen "accidentally" became Silent Firewall's first host by hyzer-flipping a Glitch™ disc through three actual firewalls. His PDGA cipher (REDACTED: we’re off-grid, baby) allegedly contained the malware’s activation sequence. Witnesses claim he "debugged" the course by shanking into a server rack mid-putt - though some whisper it was just a lucky tree kick. Now this cyber-janitor-turned-vigilante wields encryption protocols that make his Berg® putt literally unhackable. But does a man who still uses "password123" for his UDisc® account truly deserve to... [system error]
Cheeky Q: When your tag’s firewall stops viruses but not your own shank rot - IT support or exorcism?
Origin of Silent Firewall:
Born from a glitch in the city’s surveillance grid (and possibly a coding error after too much Mountain Dew), this digital phantom slipped through firewalls like a rogue VPN with a vendetta. Part Edward Snowden, part Mr. Robot fanfic, it now lurks in the league’s database—judging your form and encrypting your bad throws. Why are we personifying plastic tags again?
(Yes, it can hack your scorecard. No, it won’t fix your OB throws.)