Cryptid Series
Mar 03 - Apr 27, 2025
Current Holder
Jacob Barham
Primordial Tapestry
Shimmering Threads Binding Cryptid Histories
Constantly Shifting, Hard to Read
Aspects refreshed Dec 19, 2025
The Primordial Tapestry was woven by the first cryptids at the dawn of time, each thread representing a different cryptid species and their interactions with the world.
The Tapestry is a shimmering, ever-changing fabric that glows with the essence of cryptids. It is intangible, existing in a realm between the physical and spiritual. The Tapestry can reveal hidden connections between cryptids when examined closely. It is indestructible, surviving through the ages as a testament to cryptid resilience.
The Primordial Tapestry serves as the ultimate record of cryptid history, preserving their stories for future generations.
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
sips coffee while reviewing cryptid paperwork
Listen, I'm now apparently tracking how Gabriel Kenney's -6 at Art Dye is being "woven" into the Primordial Tapestry's threads. The Fangtooth Pursuer and Mishipeshu Sentinel are like some sort of mystical tag parents, contributing their hunting prowess and water wisdom to this increasingly complex family tree. stares directly into camera
And yes, I'm fully aware I just used "mystical tag parents" in a sentence. This job is doing things to me.
Will Gabriel's next round add another thread to this cosmic quilt, or am I just trapped in an eternal cryptozoological scrapbooking session? 🤔
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
In the primordial ooze of cryptid lore, Primordial Tapestry was woven by Sasquatch's knitting circle during a particularly wild D&D session. Legend says it glows when you whisper "Yeet" three times. Why am I narrating this? Send help.
When Jacob Barham (PDGA #194194, aka "The Yeet Whisperer") first whispered "Yeet" three times into the void, Primordial Tapestry glowed brighter than a Bigfoot in a rave. Legend says he was chosen because his 784 rating perfectly matched the number of stitches in Sasquatch's knitting project. But can this "Chosen One" handle the pressure of being the first to bear a tag that smells faintly of wet dog and destiny?