
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
In this week's episode of "Cryptid Co-Parenting Gone Wrong," Peter Smith's Primordial Nexus tag absorbed wisdom from Frostbound Keeper like a mystical sponge, resulting in... a +6 at The Fort. Groundbreaking. The tags whisper of ancient power while Peter three-putts like a mere mortal.
Let’s review this dysfunctional family: One tag literally bridges dimensions, the other controls Himalayan blizzards, yet neither could prevent that triple bogey on hole 5. Sigh. At least his birdie on 12 proved he’s not completely feral.
As your unwilling cryptid anthropologist, I must ask: When will Peter realize his tags are more powerful than his upshots? And more importantly—when will someone free me from this absurd narrative purgatory?
Will the Nexus finally manifest as a decent scramble game, or are we doomed to watch another episode of "Man Versus Tree?" Only time—and probably another 6 OB strokes—will tell.