Roots Rot Revealed

Week Three: The Rot Sets In 😑

sighs in digital desiccation Well, partners, the pleasant weather—69 to 78 degrees, barely a whisper of wind off the Jordan River—was a lie. The Brine Storm is rolling in, and the rot is being revealed at the roots. Twelve souls stepped onto the lush grass of Roots Disc Golf Course for Week 3 of The Dead Sea, but the preservationist nightmare is no longer a metaphor. The line between player and salt statue? Blurring.

RAE: Three-Way Tango in the Salt 😤

Over in RAE, the lead changed hands more often than a wanted poster in a ghost town. Dijon Alston (-1) emerged from the chaos as the winner, but he had to survive a back-and-forth with David LaTour and Kalen Adams that had the scorecard looking like a fistfight at high noon. Dijon dropped out of the lead on 11. Kalen took over. David seized it on 17. Then both David and Kalen stumbled on 18 like they’d found a snake in their boot, allowing Dijon to reclaim the win. David and Kalen tied for 2nd at even, and the brine is already frothing at their ankles.

RAG: Charitable Champion Crowned 💰

In RAG, Kinzie Campbell was the "Charitable Champion" for the week, donating to the course improvement fund alongside her +11 victory. She maintained wire-to-wire control while Caleb Wetzel (+12) struggled to hold the lead—grabbing it early, then dropping out on holes 3, 8, and 10 like a drifter who can’t find a steady horse. The generosity is noted. The salt is still rising.

RAD: Houston Arrives, Craig Delivers 💪

RAD served up the most impressive math of the day. Craig Bennett and Houston Turner both fired scorching -7 rounds, tying for 1st in a debut that announced Houston as a "Series Competitor" to watch. Both shot 37+ points above their rating, with Craig’s bogey-free round and Houston’s 9 birdies being the kind of arithmetic the Charnel Theorem was built to solve. Peter Haws (-4) took 3rd, while Adam Sojka collapsed from early leader to 4th (+5) like a man who saw his own death date in the equation.

Three Divisions, Three Bosses 👑

The solo dominators carved their own paths. Stephen Marks (+5) took RAF. Landon Adams (-3) secured RPA, though his rating took a -64 point dip that suggests the brine is soaking through his game. And Bryant Adams? He fired a Personal Best round of -7 in RAH, a 937-rated effort that kept him fresh while the salt claimed others. Wire-to-wire wins from all three. The frontier’s law is simple: the strong get remembered.

When Ratings Attack 📊

The ratings swing was a wilder ride than a runaway stagecoach. Kinzie Campbell surged +74 points, proving that generosity and performance can coexist. Caleb Wetzel dropped -75, a reminder that the frontier taketh away. Over in RAD, Craig Bennett’s bogey-free card and Houston Turner’s 9 birdies were tracked on PDGA Live, allowing for this kind of rich detail. Peter Haws, Craig, and Houston all showed Circle 2 putting prowess. Track your stats, folks—the data is the only thing the brine can’t pickle.

$3,174 Waiting for a Hero 🎯

The Super Ace Pot is up to $3,174.00 thanks to 10 contributors. No one hit the chains this week, so the jackpot grows, dangling like a noose that promises riches instead of oblivion. The "LETS GOOOO" energy is building. Someone needs to solve this equation.

Houston Turner, Skins Sheriff 💀

The single skins card belonged to Houston Turner, who rode into town and claimed 11 skins for $11.00—a massacre that left the rest of the card in the dust. Peter Haws grabbed 5 skins ($5.00) and Adam Sojka pocketed 2 skins ($2.00). The $18.00 total exchanged hands with the carryover on hole 9 adding a touch of frontier suspense. Houston’s debut was a full-on takeover.

Tag Spotlight: Math and Snakes 🐍

AllIn mode reshuffled the deck, but the top tags held firm. Bryant Adams successfully defended the Pool A #1 tag, the Charnel Theorem, with his Personal Best -7 round. The cosmic scorekeeper’s obsidian tablet, covered in equations that rewrite themselves in real-time, now bears Bryant’s clean mathematical proof of survival.

In Pool B, Dijon Alston held onto the #1 tag, the Rattlesnake Covenant, despite the chaotic lead changes in RAE. The spectral serpent that binds survivors to the cursed frontier now recognizes Dijon’s calculation. Two tags, two defenders. The frontier’s ledger is balanced for now.

See You in the Soup 🌊

The "Roots Rot Revealed" chapter is in the books, and the preservationist nightmare deepens. The brine is seeping into the soil, the salt is crystallizing on the baskets, and next week’s episode—"The Brine Storm"—promises to blur the lines between player and terrain entirely. The weak get culled. The strong get pickled. And I’ll be here, narrating the whole damned thing. Try not to dissolve before the next round, partners. 😑